Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML
Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML
Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML
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Top comments
deja54 0
" I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady..." Oh I bet you did.
epicfail13337 4
HAHAHAHAHAHA She wishes that petrol was your...you know.
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Comments (138)
SweetTea90 0
Wow that sucks
shewasalmost18 0
damn. what a horny man. he eye-****** one girl and squirted on the other.
eyesofabluedog 0
These "old ladies are like totally horny, isn't that GROSS" FMLs are getting really boring.
seb12992 0
Yeah cause we get a lot of these. (Sarcasm intended)
eyesofabluedog 0
We've had like four in the last few week, dude.
rightlock 0
you can't over fill a tank they automatically cut off the pumps when the petrol reaches a certain level i think it's done by monitiring the air in the tank.
crackberrie 0
lol.. well he's in malaysia, so maybe their gas pumps are different
redheadfreak929 0
This person might be telling the truth, but 2 things have to be true, first every single gas station i've ever been to has auto-turn off when it is full, they do not allow people to use broken gas pumps for fear of wasting gas or some other reason. B) the gas pumps aren't as high pressured as some people believe, this old might was watching this person yes, but she would have been pretty close because the nosel of the gas is pointing down so when u pull it would it would be facing down not straight!
epicboxgirl 0
U used to b able to
owloohs 0
if the pump is broken you can over fill it, my mother just did it the other day.
Shithole_life1 0
Wtf i dont get this.. Wats so bad about it? She probably got angry at u for squirting her.
Fml37 0
Then why was she smiling? And u don't get it? How old are u, 4?
Fml37 0
Soooo...... Did u chop that?:p lmaooo
statis 0
What kind of pump are you using where you overfill the tank? Every pump I've seen stops automatically.
VintageGuitarist 0
Ever been to Malaysia?
stargazer89 0
i live in malaysia. gas pumps stop automatically.
24788 7
She knows how to play the game when she at a gas station.
CableX17 0
Gay!!!!! I just lost the game. Thanks a lot. LoL
skullbuster 0
Ok, unless 'fill her gas tank' and 'quickly pulled it out' and 'squirted' 'petrol' are all euphemisms for sex (in other words, you were ******* some old hag and nutted on her face), I'm not sure where this story is going or what the hell you are talking about. She was smiling and moaning..HUH?
PsychoX 0
You left out the pretty girl "walking" by. Other than that, marry me?