Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
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Top comments
snakerake 10
Wouldn't you have to clean it off? It could easily contaminate other things or people causing health risks.
harrystylesfan69 5
having fecal matter all over you is pretty disgusting ....regardless the job
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Comments (189)
dancer1103 2
Still trying to figure out why some people think that they deserved that...
aigroeg 0
How awful! How can 37 people say you deserved it?! Those are the kind of people that need a good old fashioned kick up the rear end.Simpletons..
NAAMxLOOS 11
Hahaha, that totally sounds like something you'd see on Scrubs. Still sorry for you, though, OP.
XanderJayNix 17
Shit happens ya know.
ClydeFroq 4
not cool..... not cool
redneckEMT21 2
About sounds like my day yesterday. And I get to go in and do it all over again today
yourmofo 6
Sometimes I thought I had a shitty day.
Akharr01 5
Kool story bro
heyred 11
Better than c-diff!
l0v3p4in 7
Paramedics walk into situations not knowing past medical hx especially with contagious diseases. We just hope and pray for OP's health, that there was no C-Diff in that fecal matter.
StreetReaper 9
I've been a medic for a long time now and every service I've worked for has it as policy to have a change of uniform available with you or in the station for situations like this. Days like that do truly suck, but it is part of the job