Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
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Top comments
snakerake 10
Wouldn't you have to clean it off? It could easily contaminate other things or people causing health risks.
harrystylesfan69 5
having fecal matter all over you is pretty disgusting ....regardless the job
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Comments (189)
la_gata_0716 5
Well I know they have to have shower where you work! I'm an EMT, I know that. Hopefully you took a shower and got all that sh&$ out of you!
krissynicoleEMT 2
Hahaha I know right there's showers at my stationing amused at the lady who tried to sound smart and said it was a hippa violation lmao
shizuma_fml 3
Mmmmm that happens to me like ones a week i but like One A week i work in the OR :( im use to it :(( witch is worst
jshsbrk 0
If fecal matter bothers you that much you probably shouldn't have chosen to be a paramedic..
dutemplar 2
Could be worse... You could work for AMR!
justplainbee 0
I wouldn't think you'd be allowed to continue the job until you cleaned it off or got a change of clothes. That's unsanitary.
derkster 6
Lol number 1 is a dick head
FairyTales_fml 6
Alway have a spare change of cloths..
hopping_buffalo 2
well damn, imagine how embarrassing it must've been for the patient
rconto26 2
It's not that they force you to continue working but it's hard to get a good minute to shower when theres a cardiac arrest, grandma needs picked up because gravity isn't her friend today, or you have a mass causality on top of transports. We work covered in blood, vomit, piss, and shit to save lives.
MigraineurOfLife 15
Unless you've been there & done it-people are clueless!
andrew87804 4
Fecal matter is my favourite word :)