Health: Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy...

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 259

You deserved it 3 433

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 751

You deserved it 2 488

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 206

You deserved it 4 083

Bag for life

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 04:57 - United States

Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 65

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 413

You deserved it 3 274

Such a rewarding career

By DirtyNurse - 05/12/2020 07:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 154

Pissed

By kkmirw - 14/10/2019 05:00

Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 805

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 11/09/2016 05:52 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 205

You deserved it 1 079

We could be heroes…

By ally - 23/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 160

By Vomit - 17/12/2018 05:00

Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 364

You deserved it 202

By DocKreso - 28/06/2013 21:59 - Croatia - Split

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 867

You deserved it 6 382

um_duh 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:22

What a shitty day eh?

lololol111 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:45

11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry

Comments

mattsprettycool 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:15

hahahahaha, sucks to be you!

pedosmurf 7

Thursday 25 October 2012 4:02

Shit happens! :)

boatiebanter 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:17

Well, you did decide to go into that field of psychiatry... Still sucks though :(

um_duh 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:22

What a shitty day eh?

chaos753159 4

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:54

not as shitty as those bags

trivel64 16

Monday 20 February 2012 4:05

*ba dum tsss*

sunshyne84_fml 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:23

#1 how do u know where they're from? What makes u think all Americans use the same word? fyl

Zapurdead 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 15:07

Look at the small gray text under the FML: "United States (New York)"

fuckmeamiright 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:26

#1 what the **** man? where you're from every single person uses the same word for everything? that sucks. shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit oh weird i must not be american.

NonComedogenic 2

Wednesday 8 June 2011 21:56

agreed I hate it when one person makes a generalization off of one occurrence

Darth_Taco 14

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:26

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!!! If I knew you I'd probably hug you to make you feel better. After you shower about 30 times, of course (I'm paranoid about bacteria). Still, ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!!!

Juggalette_623 9

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:29

Here is one of those FML's that needs a little more info before you say FYL or YDI. Are you one of those bitchy nurses that completely pisses off your patients? If so YDI. OR Are you one of those nurses that deals with the patients after the first nurse (that acts like the first one described) leaves the room? If so FYL.

um_duh 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:31

#9 Noone deserves shit thrown at them. NOONE!

RitzyHoke 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:38

#10 please split noone into no one yeah? noone sounds like a typo of none. Anyway, And I thought I wanted to studying psychology. Oh well, next choice.

OhHushDear 11

Thursday 19 January 2012 6:03

Dude. You corrected their mistake and then totally killed the sentence after that. "I thought I wanted to studying psychology?" Lol learn the language before you gripe at other people for typos.