Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Things happen in threes. Don't use a porta-potty for the next few days. Those things tend to tip over on unlucky bastards, and the stars are lining up against you right now.
jbuckets_404 39
I thought that it was called #2, not three. :-(
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Things happen in threes. Don't use a porta-potty for the next few days. Those things tend to tip over on unlucky bastards, and the stars are lining up against you right now.
jbuckets_404 39
I thought that it was called #2, not three. :-(
jbuckets_404 39
Shit happens....
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
did your shit go everywhere
TCRII 30
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.... Oh shit....
BurnInDemonFire 39
I feel bad for you, worse for whoever's colostomy bag exploded.
DogStew 20
Thank you for the warning. That has been the last thing on my mind my whole life when visiting the pharmacy.