Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML
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Top comments
macrosoft 3
Hey sounds very caring, you should thank him
vctrmora 0
He's just keeping him "pimp" hand strong!
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Comments (144)
siickman 7
Lmfao... I fell on the floor laughing.. Im sorry if im the only one findig this funny ... Haha
guckylynn 19
It's not that funny..,
superangryandy 2
That's ROFLing not LMFAOing.
KristinaKreme 0
I actually found it quite hilarious. It went into my favorites.
vbmg152 19
I also think it's funny! Mane he'll learn to keep his mouth shut & not gossip about his mother in law! HDI!!
vbmg152 19
It's supposed to say maybe not mane! Stupid autocorrect is driving me crazy tonight!
snakerake 10
Vbmg152- you are misunderstanding the FML
joee182 3
at least he cares that much lol
bjr1208 3
Hoes need to be kept in their place.
uprising_fml 0
idiot .
damara3 0
Why is this an FML?! I'm jealous.
free2speak 14
Bahaha! exactly!
perdix 31
Someone knows how to knock a bully down a few pegs. Now, you can get over your eating disorder and either gain or lose 50 pounds depending on which dysfunctional coping mechanism you chose.
Fenteliman 0
You realize the post on Facebook was from the uncle to the FML creator's mother in law, right?
every1luvsboners 11
Fente, what part of his comment leads you to believe otherwise? You either don't understand what he's saying or making a horrible attempt at trolling. I'm going to go with...(this is a tough one)....you're stoopid.
perdix 31
#48. Yeah, I got it, genius. What I was referring to was that women who are the victims of bullying sometimes react by becoming anorexic or stuffing themselves with food.
xXSillyLoveXx 0
This should be on 'Monster In-Laws'
every1luvsboners 11
I've never actually witnessed a pimp-slapping in progress so if you wouldn't mind letting us know when this is going to go down and let us watch, or upload to YouTube, that would be magnificent too.
TheSmoothDude 10
Knows how to get shit done
laurenbr0 7
I wish my uncle was as cool as that...
jaq_d 0
How is this a fml just sounds like you have one kick ass uncle