Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
macrosoft 3
Hey sounds very caring, you should thank him
vctrmora 0
He's just keeping him "pimp" hand strong!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
satph 12
LMAAAO!! this is soo hilarious! fyl though
rognycbro 4
a threatening pimp hand always helps
fuckkyeaaaalaura 12
At least he's straightening shit out .
SolidJello 2
is your uncle by any chance " A PIMP NAMED SLICKBACK"? (from boondocks)
gunman15 4
Family always got your back
mrahhhhh 21
Does your uncle have to choke a bitch?
dillonManning 9
******* best uncle
Capt_Oblivious 10
It's on Facebook so it's legit and he means it. Bitch better watch out.
daviddgaf 3
Ur Uncle Sounds Awesome!! Ahhahahaa
cbdee 8
Where the hell is hubby? He should be putting his mom in check!