Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML
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Top comments
macrosoft 3
Hey sounds very caring, you should thank him
vctrmora 0
He's just keeping him "pimp" hand strong!
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Comments (144)
blacksswan 10
Thats what I love about uncles. Always got your back.
SxeDaze 13
Give him baby powder, he will know what it's for...
underguarded 20
How Interesting. This is how i've always dealt with my problems.
mishkaroni 15
Ha, oh my gosh, you have the BEST uncle!
QueenSaru 28
... so... you're upset that after asking your uncle to stand up for you... you're upset at how he stood up for you? That seems a bit like being ungrateful. :/
daydreamer244 13
my uncle and ur uncle would be best friends :)
frankwolf86 0
u really should be grateful ur uncle is caring and he looks out for his family... in his own way but if it works...
brianjman14 23
Your uncle is ******* awesome.
Sesquipedalian 9
Your uncles a G!
hobojo69 23
He sounds cool I wish my uncle used the words pimp slap a bitch