Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML
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Top comments
macrosoft 3
Hey sounds very caring, you should thank him
vctrmora 0
He's just keeping him "pimp" hand strong!
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Comments (144)
laundryninja 1
hmm aparently hes OG :/ cool....cool....
Phantom13 3
Ok....so your badass uncle is getting in there and handling your husband's business for him by putting HIS mom in HER place... Seriously....is this an FML in the sense that you have a bitch for a mother-in-law, or that you have a lame-dick husband that can't stand up to his mom for his wife's sake? Either way I see nothing wrong with you having an OG uncle...
neongurl98 10
Omg, are we related?!?!
hellokitty76 1
1-800- choke - that - hoe Lmao ... reminds me of madea ... Lmao
funnii_bunnii 0
Best.uncle.ever lmfaooooo
meggo91 9
Funny lol
tatersr9 1
Got to put the bitch in line
hoonyer 17
hahah freaking hilarious
HMS_Hood 0
You should thank him. He is a hero.
megamandude455 10
Your uncle wins so hard!!!