Miscellaneous: Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive... - FML

By ...... - 08/10/2011 02:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 507

You deserved it 3 767

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

'This Is Us' reboot

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 16:00

Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 530

OK Boomer

By Nicks - 03/07/2013 15:10 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 471

You deserved it 4 810

By Anonymous - 14/01/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 6 032

By Anonymous - 04/06/2014 14:34 - United Kingdom - Ormskirk

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 615

You deserved it 3 941

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 16:09 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 897

You deserved it 8 796

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 05:13 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 165

You deserved it 7 278

All over the place

By Gloria Lovestar - 03/10/2019 20:00

Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 438

You deserved it 36 347

Brothers in arms

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 06:00 - South Africa - Grahamstown

Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 108

By mommysgirlapparently - 29/10/2010 03:17 - United States

Today, my mom was on my Facebook and saw a chick leave a nasty comment on my status. My mom commented back something awful and really bitchy. My mom still fights my fights for me. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 740

You deserved it 8 050

Next

Top comments

macrosoft 3

Saturday 8 October 2011 5:57

Hey sounds very caring, you should thank him

vctrmora 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 5:57

He's just keeping him "pimp" hand strong!

Comments

pepperedmint 0

Friday 14 October 2011 0:36

Yes pimp slap that hoe. Lol

misstrujillo 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 20:02

Your uncle is awesome.

circom101 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 12:41

what are uncles for right?

CuteGinger 2

Wednesday 9 November 2011 3:24

Bitch slap a pimp ?

mstevenson69 1

Friday 27 January 2012 6:02

aww thats whats up ! bet she stopped

xxmeowxx43 1

Thursday 29 March 2012 4:19

There's family for you :)

Nyx7 24

Wednesday 10 September 2014 0:29

Lmao your uncle sounds awesome

cjl922 17

Sunday 5 June 2016 1:03

Calm down Eazy E

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 540

You deserved it 2 649

Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 348

The Top

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 049

You deserved it 1 142

Today, I went to a comic shop to celebrate Free Comic Book Day. A guy in a really nice Spider-Man costume showed up, so I asked and got a selfie with him on my way out. When I got home, I realized my wallet was missing from my back pocket. I was robbed by Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 887

You deserved it 495

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 003

You deserved it 12 617

Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 607

You deserved it 274

Today, I was setting up a computer before a big work meeting. I noticed the software they were using had a text to speech feature. I thought it would be funny to make it say obscene things, then delete it. When the meeting started, the speakers blared, “The VP is gay hahahaha” in a robotic voice. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 759

Today, I drove two and a half hours to a job interview. The interviewer never showed up or called. I sat in the hotel lobby waiting for an hour and a half. Even the hotel staff said they felt sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 805

You deserved it 2 698