By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario
  Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
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  CallMeMcFeelii  |  13

I always wanted to be Mila Kunis's hand in a situation like this. But I don't think I ever envisioned myself as a cockroach falling and landing on her hand. Hell, that actually may work out for me even better!

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  GwennaRose  |  22

Hmmm, I just don't know if I could trust something that could survive nuclear radiation for weeks and not die

(yes this is a play on not trusting that which bleeds for 5 days and does not die)