Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in... - FML

By eMmA01 - United States

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46319

You deserved it

13603

Tweet

Share

Own it

Ambien conversations are the worst

Deadbeat

By WetPhone - United States

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49515

You deserved it

11021

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Tampa

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27153

You deserved it

1861

Tweet

Share

By FavreFan99 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15455

You deserved it

23467

Tweet

Share

By Boyufd

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2834

You deserved it

211

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks

3907

You deserved it

307

Tweet

Share

By hatemyluck - United States - Bronx

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30438

You deserved it

3246

Tweet

Share

By moncheri1314 - France

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26443

You deserved it

4431

Tweet

Share

By steph - China

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27894

You deserved it

6635

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48820

You deserved it

3909

Tweet

Share

By TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks - United States - Seattle

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27523

You deserved it

7218

Tweet

Share

By inpain14

Headache

Today, I learned that one of the reasons I may be getting migraines every day is because I subconsciously clench my jaw a lot due to stress. To try and have it hurt less, I’ve gone back to wearing my plastic retainer during the day, but it makes my gag reflux act up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1315

You deserved it

172

Tweet

Share

By screwed - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54942

You deserved it

3060

Tweet

Share

By braceface - United States

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29979

You deserved it

6896

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/4/2021 11:00

Classic

Today, I had a dream I saw my dad. I tried to talk to him, but then I woke up. He died last Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1502

You deserved it

53

Tweet

Share

By sherronj - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31239

You deserved it

7507

Tweet

Share

By imnotacat - United States

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34911

You deserved it

3081

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9575

You deserved it

46180

Tweet

Share

By Eodowoiono - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49227

You deserved it

4581

Tweet

Share

By Okay_Then - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39020

You deserved it

3025

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36237

You deserved it

3431

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my wife of 6 years came out as a lesbian. I moved out of state and away from family to start a new life with her. Turns out she's attracted to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5804

You deserved it

354

Tweet

Share

By takeshi

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3177

You deserved it

275

Tweet

Share

By now what? - 9/5/2021 23:59

Dancing Queen

Today, after my dad told me to sign my daughter up for expensive dance lessons as a birthday present, and she was ecstatic and very dedicated, I asked him for the payment for this month. He replied, "Oh, she wanted more than one lesson?" Now she won’t stop crying and I have no way to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1165

You deserved it

91

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Watonga

Today, I was feeling terrible and posted on Facebook about how I was stressed out and feeling really lonely. My sister replied saying "#fatfuckproblems". 13 people liked it and some so-called friends posted stuff like "rekt" and "SLAYED, bitch!", all in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20412

You deserved it

4584

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Stained

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1338

You deserved it

159

Tweet

Share

By Rebecca2135

Today, I gave a speech at a charity fundraiser. I didn't realize how close I was standing to the fan, which automatically went on. As soon as I said, "this is why you should pledge," my dress flew up. I then learned how quickly phones can take pictures and emails of my underwear can be sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3474

You deserved it

298

Tweet

Share

By Kat - France

Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34346

You deserved it

5212

Tweet

Share

By Lizzielollipop816 - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32989

You deserved it

3608

Tweet

Share

By Kanata

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1770

You deserved it

137

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/3/2021 03:01 - Lithuania - Klaipeda

Don't stop now!

Today, as usual during sex, my boyfriend finished first, and then he "massaged" me so I could finish too. While he was doing that, his grandma called. He actually answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1126

You deserved it

150

Tweet

Share

By robinhoood - United States

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

85911

You deserved it

3599

Tweet

Share

By areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47350

You deserved it

3255

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Italy - Pistoia

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55064

You deserved it

8919

Tweet

Share

By scared shitless

Night terrors

Today, I learned the hard way that my girlfriend’s young daughter sleepwalks. I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, only to be greeted in the dimly lit hallway by her creepy silhouette. I yelped like a bitch and dropped the glass on my foot, breaking two toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1605

You deserved it

290

Tweet

Share

By Bolin - 17/5/2021 08:08

Earthquake

Today, I have to sleep in another room, with the door closed, because if I don't, my girlfriend's snoring will keep me awake. I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

823

You deserved it

98

Tweet

Share

By chippuh - United States

Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60738

You deserved it

3103

Tweet

Share

By

My dear neighbor

Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2198

You deserved it

122

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - France - Issy-les-moulineaux

Today, I had a heart attack. In the hospital the doctor compared my heart to that of a stressed out 60 year-old's. I'm 17 and I don't even have a job yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24110

You deserved it

1922

Tweet

Share

By lojo - United States

Today, I was flying home to Milwaukee after a weekend in South Carolina. When I got to the airport, my reservation didn't match up with any flights. Turns out Expedia booked me on a flight that doen't exist. I spent ten hours waiting in the airport for a two hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42409

You deserved it

3126

Tweet

Share

By byepolar_bare - United States

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

43559

You deserved it

3323

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Good_old_Grim | 8

#109979 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:05

Sounds like you just overdosed it.

By alex_vik | 0

#109996 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:12

If you use the right amount of it, only people within a foot of you should be able to smell it.

COMMENTS

By Good_old_Grim | 8

#109979 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:05

Sounds like you just overdosed it.

By alex_vik | 0

#109996 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:12

If you use the right amount of it, only people within a foot of you should be able to smell it.

By featherhead | 0

#109997 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:15

ouch. hehe

spray less next time?

By thatmodelqueen09 | 0

#110011 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:28

i bet all eyes were on you

By SunlightVeins | 0

#110018 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:35

It could have just been the mixture of perfume and cologne in the air. People often forget this and when they tag along with other people, what should have smelled nice is a rank mixture of some toxic scent. Or maybe he has a hot grandma. =P

By deliciouskaek | 1

#110030 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:47

Stop using so much perfume. Problem solved.

By cbrown89 | 0

#110033 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:48

well you know...the other guy from the other fml likes the smell of grandma's house, so I wouldn't worry too much :P

By ditlihi | 0

#110037 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 12:54

Get a guy to pick out the perfume....unless you don't want to smell attractive to guys. Think about it. Do you want to smell good to yourself or guys? Chances are, you were wearing a type of scent that he associated with his grandma.

By Jimboom | 11

#110080 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 13:23

Well, at least you know that your incompatible now.

By jayfx | 0

#110081 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 13:24

ewwww grandma smell ahahahhaha