Now you can play a papa roach song! great band!

I stepped on a cricket one time bare footed at a theme park

Crush their life in to pieces..

Today, I was crawling on the floor and something squished me, FML.

I stepped on a wasp once, while playing soccer, bare footed. It stung me.

I have seen a lot of frogs in the front lawn at my place as of late. I just know one day i will step on one. I'll be sure to make an fml about it.

2- Why were you walking around at a theme park without shoes? That's disgusting!

At 3 that's replying to 1, I was thinking more along the lines of "Getting Away with Murder" myself. (:

Great idea!

At 14, it probably was a water theme park...

And by great band do you mean not a great band at all?

Ayyyoo 43, you burnt the shit out of 1. No, actually, you DIDN'T.

Getting an itch on your face while your playing guitar sucks. Especially in front of people during a solo...

14- I was at the water park section, do you go swimming with shoes on? Smartass

Was it a Rockband guitar? And was your friends fiancé playing the drums while taking a crap?

Crunchatize me, captain!

be greatful it wasnt a rad-roach (fnv FTW)

I think OP would have other problems is it was a rad-roach.... Mainly the roach being the size of your foot might be one.

The roch doesn't need to be the size of a foot to be crushed by it. I find it strange that there are roaches in the first place.

That's so weird.
Just moments ago a big roach crawled onto my hand!
I feel for ya OP! Creepy little bastards they are.

Today, I was crawling on the ground and some guy squished me. FML.

FMLs written from another point of view stopped being funny about.. wait, it was never funny.

today people stopped thinking I was funny because Im the reverse FML... FML

I hope your pretending to be the roach.

Play la cucaracha in it's honor since you squished the poor bugger with your foot

Lol! You know you're Latino when you would bring something up like that, ha! My dad taught me an alternate version of that song. It goes...
La cucaracha
La cucaracha
La que tiene tu mama
Cuando se agacha
Cuando se agacha
Se la mira tu papa!

I know it's sick, but still hilarious!

Ahhh, if only I knew Spanish...

Haha! I do, and that is hilarious... Z:)

And maybe OP will have to bless it's soul, for how could she not hear it's spirit wail in pain as she crushed it's soul. Yes I feel sorry for it, for it has to do into the spirit world the way it left the living plane..... Goodbye, la cucaracha, and may Ussen bless you soul.

I hate cockroaches and crunchy noises

Ewwww.... They're so disgusting! I would freak! When I was little I moved to a ghetto area and they had roaches. It was so bad one morning my face was itchy so I went to scratch then felt something weird, that's when I realized I had just squished a roach on my face! I was scarred for life! Thank God we moved and left all our shit there so we wouldn't infest our new place too!
Oh yeah and FYL OP.

Stop playing guitar and clean your house bum.

Wrong FML buddy.

Right FML, wrong appROACH to this situation.

Lovely

Hold a funeral for the cockroach! Come on give it some respect!!

To all those who disliked this:
A cockroach is living too, and deserves some respect. Humans are incredibly selfish and do not care for the billions they kill to get their way. It's sad, we hurt the earth in so many ways and do not even care.