FML : Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner...

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Whyis Dremora - / Sunday 30 September 2018 15:00 / United States - San Marcos

Animals

Health

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Leeono | 25

#7702105 - Sunday 30 September 2018 22:17

Finally and answer to “what crawled up your butt?!”

By donthatemebut | 13

#7702107 - Sunday 30 September 2018 22:20

Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

Comments

By Leeono | 25

#7702105 - Sunday 30 September 2018 22:17

Finally and answer to “what crawled up your butt?!”

By donthatemebut | 13

#7702107 - Sunday 30 September 2018 22:20

Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

By RichardPencil | 26

#7702112 - Sunday 30 September 2018 22:28

What kind of asshole can’t tell the difference between an arachnid and an insect?

By Michelle Strutt | 2

#7702125 - Sunday 30 September 2018 23:13

Yeah, right.

By ChromoTec | 23

#7702132 - Sunday 30 September 2018 23:31

The cock-roach chose the wrong hole

RichardPencil | 26

#7702225 - Monday 1 October 2018 7:29

To some, there are no wrong holes -- just ones that require more lube.

By geniusness | 3

#7702140 - Monday 1 October 2018 0:04

Did you burn the house down? Because you should burn your house down. It's the only logical reaction.

By Linda Mau | 10

#7702168 - Monday 1 October 2018 1:27

The cockroach was a male and was just tryna get laid

By PenguinPal3017 | 16

#7702169 - Monday 1 October 2018 1:38

That is the type of roach you'd expect to try to enter you there.

By jac_1964_au | 19

#7702175 - Monday 1 October 2018 1:56

To funny

J352SAURUS | 30

#7703155 - Tuesday 2 October 2018 23:40

...or not to funny?

Cali | 53

#7704829 - Saturday 6 October 2018 20:49

That is the question.

By ReallyChillDude | 4

#7702179 - Monday 1 October 2018 2:07

That cockroach has a real go getter attitude lol.

Similar

Australia

Today, my favourite vibrator got a good thrashing. Unfortunately, it was by my cat, who tore it to shreds. I guess she disapproves of my choice of leisure...

Today, at the rescue group I volunteer at, we finally adopted out a dog that has been with us for a few years now. This was an amazing thing for us because...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Animals

Health

Nearly

Today, I had been feeling very ill, so I asked my partner to clean the house whilst I got some rest. Instead of touching any of the cleaning, he gamed...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my dad told me that my trip to London (to visit him) has been cancelled due to 'work issues'. My departure was scheduled the day after tomorrow...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

World

Loading data…

Canada

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Australia

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

See all the World FMLs

Photos

See all FML photos