By Diogo Filipe de Almeida
  Today, I was jerking off at 2am when a giant, thumb-sized cockroach came flying across my room, prompting me to scream pretty loudly. My mom then came into my room worried, only to find me naked on top of the couch, screaming like a little girl. I still had an erection. FML
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By  Mungolikecandy  |  19

Unless the couch was in your bedroom, what is it with people jerking off in shared living spaces?

By  TeacherTeem  |  20

If you said to your mom, “I was scared by a big cockroach,” there was the briefest of moments between you saying “cock” and “roach” that your mom looked at your cock and considered whether or not she would say that it was “big.”