By Diogo Filipe de Almeida - 29/07/2018 06:00

Spicy
Today, I was jerking off at 2am when a giant, thumb-sized cockroach came flying across my room, prompting me to scream pretty loudly. My mom then came into my room worried, only to find me naked on top of the couch, screaming like a little girl. I still had an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 068
You deserved it 2 812

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Top comments

You have a couch in your room? Is it black leather and used for casting some new actresses?

pugs 12

That must’ve been a hard time for you and your mom.

Comments

Hi it's your friendly neighborhood COCKroach here need some help? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

pugs 12

That must’ve been a hard time for you and your mom.

You have a couch in your room? Is it black leather and used for casting some new actresses?

julfunky 29

It was 2 am. Maybe OP, being the genius that he is, thought the living room was a safe space.

it says on the couch in my room

DraftHail614 17

The joke went right over your head, bud.

Tell your mom you had a fear boner and hope she’s not too sharp about male physiology.

I will never understand why no one locks or blocks their door for these situations

It hardly works. You have no idea how sneaky those cockroach are.

Mungolikecandy 19

Unless the couch was in your bedroom, what is it with people jerking off in shared living spaces?

you should read his post again. he said my mom came into my room worried...

If you said to your mom, “I was scared by a big cockroach,” there was the briefest of moments between you saying “cock” and “roach” that your mom looked at your cock and considered whether or not she would say that it was “big.”

Alup132 22

What the hell, lay off the porn...

thatslifeiguess7 16

In the living room? Good grief go take a shower or something

doomsdayaddams 6

There are these things called “locks” that can be used when we want privacy. They’re great. You should try them.

Wait! I've seen this movie!