Health: Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like... - FML

By Rachal - 30/01/2012 01:27 - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 749

You deserved it 10 901

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:01

That's one hell of a fart.

LaColombianita 26

Monday 30 January 2012 9:02

I didn't know a fart could cause that much damage...

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:00

A little too excited there

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:11

Sounds like an extreme case of mudbutt.

lrgenesis 19

Monday 30 January 2012 9:21

This FML made my penis go really soft.

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:52

17 - your comment made me want to slap you in the face with my penis.

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:59

17- Are you expecting a trophy or something?

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Monday 30 January 2012 10:01

Give this man a spanky award!

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Monday 30 January 2012 10:02

17 is trying to be funny but completely backfired on him..

AnonymousTroll 2

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Monday 30 January 2012 12:58

This is a crappy situation.

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Monday 30 January 2012 15:38

I bet it's swamp ass

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Monday 30 January 2012 16:57

Wow i hate it when that happens haha

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Monday 30 January 2012 17:12

Now during class when you suddenly slam your head on the desk, everyone read this FML and understands you farted.

tjv3 10

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:55

Maybe you need to go get that checked out. But thanks OP now my nose hurts because I laughed so hard Pepsi came out

vickeeyleeigh 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:00

Hahaha halarious!

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:01

That's one hell of a fart.

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Monday 30 January 2012 10:07

Can't even begin to imagine what it must have smelled like.

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Monday 30 January 2012 16:42

I'm jealous! I wish my farts would launch me into my mirror!

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Monday 30 January 2012 17:28

You got me beat :(

lebronesque73091 12

Monday 30 January 2012 18:20

33 & 57- Holy shit! That made the fml so much more funny XD

goodfella925 0

Monday 30 January 2012 19:57

lol!

freakinglaugher 10

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Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:08

It's a bird! it's a plane! No, it *coughing fit* .. super ..fart. Oh crap, he just sharted!

liveyourlife_191 8

Monday 30 January 2012 9:01

Good luck explaining THAT to your parents. They will probably disown you. FYL

LaColombianita 26

Monday 30 January 2012 9:02

I didn't know a fart could cause that much damage...

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Monday 30 January 2012 10:02

You obviously have not seen this one Dexter Laboratory episode...but that reference is a bit obscure, I think

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Monday 30 January 2012 23:17

Silent but Deadly.

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Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:04

Are you a duck?

n3rdzgotskillz 29

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:03

how on earth did farting feel like getting stabbed? what do you eat?!

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:06

Something really spicy would do it.

imepelepticsir 5

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:10

spicy foods would cause you to shit your pants as you farted. the experience oh how i loathe it.

n3rdzgotskillz 29

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:17

I eat spicy food all the time and can safely say that my farts have never been that deadly :')

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Monday 30 January 2012 9:22

Do they whistle?

imepelepticsir 5

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:23

must be the artificial spicy foods then.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Monday 30 January 2012 17:28

More likely op has hemmoroids an pressure of gas on them caused pain. Op should get their ass examined!

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Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:12

Tacos dont hurt people. They are very delicious and good. Besides taco bell is fake mexican food. Its good sometimes but cant beat original tacos beaner made.

CoGhostRider 31

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Saturday 3 August 2013 0:52

It sometimes happens to people with acid reflux. It's basically a fold in your intestines catching the air.

mama2b3 20

Monday 30 January 2012 9:08

Who knew farting could be so dangerous. ..

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:14

...beautiful

lrgenesis 19

Monday 30 January 2012 9:15

And that's why I stopped eating taco bell

ninjuh_wingman 29

Monday 30 January 2012 9:15

Maybe a ghost decided to troll you and stab your butt.

LookOnBrightSide 12

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:26

Farts do work in mysterious ways. Makes you wonder...

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Monday 30 January 2012 9:17

don't under estimate the power of farting! want to be alone in a room? fart! want a brand new spankin' mirror? fart!

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 1 February 2012 5:23

For the first one I've seen people light a cigarette For the second, leave a window open and throw a base ball through it, then blame the neighbor kids There, now no need to fart

Nearly

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I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 24

Today, I struck out with two potential girlfriends, and then found out Jason David Frank died. I grew up with Power Rangers. Both types of heartbreak on one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 45

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was eating me out and I was so close to orgasm, but he suddenly stopped because his phone notified him of the football scores. He only stopped for a few seconds to check but the moment was ruined, and even though he got right back down there it just wasn’t happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 60

Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 132