Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I went to hug my husband and give him a kiss. He flinched away and asked what I was doing, because I apparently never hug him, so he thought I might be about to prank him or something. Now I feel bad. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
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Top comments
The_9th_Doctor 18
did you slap him?
confusedAsFuck 34
I feel another FML coming "Today, I was standing in line at a grocery store, and I saw my wife. I wanted to surprise kiss her on the neck. It wasn't my wife and I got bitch slapped. FML"
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Comments (123)
i8urcookie 3
lmfao i just seen an fml saying that this guy tryied to joke with his wife by kissing her on the neck and it turns out to be not his wife. lol i bet its this women.
fallatah 4
Sounds like the beginning of a **** movie
icepanda 6
creeping
jjames267 5
i just doing the fml moderation helping select new fmls to be published. it said something like this "today at the grocery store I started kissing my wife's neck. it wasn't my wife. fml" lol that's good stuff
betterdaysahead 14
you sound like a bitch I mean really your husband can't kiss you in public get real FHL if he has to deal with you.
caligirllife 11
That's so creepy. I hope you kicked his ass. And then I hope your husband kicked his ass
katydid91 31
This particular FML is so disturbing to me that even I feel violated. Definitely an award winning FML story.
Anarchy66 16
Just saw an fml in the moderated section about some guy kissing a woman on the neck from behind in line at a store who he thought was his wife. I'm guessing that was the guy who was kissing you haha
brittyboo123 35
I really hope you slapped him.
pinchepriscyla 9
Eww how creepy