Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I went to hug my husband and give him a kiss. He flinched away and asked what I was doing, because I apparently never hug him, so he thought I might be about to prank him or something. Now I feel bad. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
The_9th_Doctor 18
did you slap him?
confusedAsFuck 34
I feel another FML coming "Today, I was standing in line at a grocery store, and I saw my wife. I wanted to surprise kiss her on the neck. It wasn't my wife and I got bitch slapped. FML"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
Life_is_FML 22
Well... At least you can exercise your bitch slap
reeane 10
At least you got some loving......
MzZombicidal 36
I'm sure her husband gives her plenty love!
AshaaFerreira 22
Exactly or she would be shocked that her "husband" would kiss her like that in the first place
LegolasPrincess 10
#12 When you're married loving comes with the wedding band, why should OP be happy about getting a kiss from a random stranger? She hopefully decked him and told her husband.
illmatic2 16
She was joking you *****.
reeane 10
Oh finally! Someone who gets me. Looks like your the only smart one around here.
reeane 10
Pretty sure YOU (#84) dont understand sarcasm.
Omniprism 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Weird and creepy. Did your husband pay someone to do that? Cause why I else would someone do that.
chlorinegreen 27
Why would someone pay a random stranger to do that to his wife?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
"Hey! Hey you, yeah you, the hobo with a meth addiction, go kiss my wife's neck. She's right there, do you see her? She's the one in line man, focus! Ok, here's 20 bucks I'm gonna hide behind the candy while you do this. Don't let me down, man!" - OP's husband.
Little4Bear 10
Your description is a lie.
panda_lou 11
Hopefully he also thought you were someone he knew instead of being a total creeper and just trying to jump to second base with you without even a hello.
mattjamt 16
The neck is second? I've seriously confused the bases then...
outoftown 27
57 - It's base 1.5; 17 was rounding up.
panda_lou 11
I guess it's second to me cause I don't let everybody Mack on my neck lol. So I just group it with the heavy petting section.
pedinhuh 23
So, who kissed you after all? what happened later? Did you even knew the person? These are important details you missed to put in this FML.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
There's a character limit, and sometimes details aren't included because it's more shocking and makes a better FML than one that's fully explained. Maybe OP will comment back. :)
alaskan83 2
Nlgh hook nghh mm l ml ln moo n Niko jlnl mm kink jlmmlmnmnjl km n knoll ljnjlnlklnpn km n pp nm pp
etishuman22 32
Well, aside from being completely creepy that is also completely inappropriate. Eyyyyuuchhhh. I got a creepy crawly feeling reading that one.
KimmyCupZ 21
Perhaps he also got you confused with his significant other? Although, what are the chances of that.
tourdeforce 6
So weird...
AshaaFerreira 22
Thanks tips
drewflav 17
I wouldn't call a neck kiss inappropriate in public but an unwanted neck kiss from a complete stranger is a different story.
blackonblight 33
In the line at the grocery store? It's not like "charge you with public indecency" inappropriate but still a gentle 'knock it off, we're in public' from the wife is reasonable, especially if she's not into public displays of affection.
drewflav 17
I honestly don't care if people kiss in public, that's their business. Anything more is too much. Just because you might not like PDA doesn't mean other people don't ;)
olpally 33
Falcon punch him now!