Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my girlfriend punched me in the back of the neck because I was talking to a woman online. It was a public Call Of Duty match, I have no control over who I play with, plus I wasn’t even talking specifically to whoever this woman was, just to the people in general like all COD players. FML
Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment because I won’t play Call of Duty with her brother. This kid loses his temper violently at family board games, how the fuck does she think he’ll react when he gets mercilessly wiped out by COD players who don’t give a toss about his feelings? FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
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Top comments
sarcasmine 19
At least you weren't playing monopoly. It would've turned out worse
baxterlondon 10
at least you got a gamer chick to marry you
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Comments (143)
laden_swallow09 35
Mario Kart, Mario Party, Monopoly, now Call of Duty. Any more titles I should add to my list of games no one should play with family or romantic interests?
janfleury 19
Good new is after you apologize (no your not wrong but end the war now) make up sex is great.
orios105 18
call of duty is love.
apcsox 18
Probably shouldn't have spent so much time teabagging her and telling her you screwed her mom last night, all while tossing in a couple racist statements for good measure.......
BookerWebb 10
I feel bad for you man but you shoulda saw that coming lol
KxHoneyCombxP 24
that sucks , dude. sounds like she needs to get some hours in.
MiaTheMartian 21
The first six words of this fml scared the **** out of me
Person58 17
Anyone else notice this FML started with the words "I was savagely beating my wife..."
monkyvirus 13
I guess the problem was you were really holding back in previous games and yeah it's unfortunate but someone letting you win and someone just being a million times better than you at a game both make it not fun. She shouldn't have reacted like that but just let her cool off and maybe trying playing a game she's good at or neither of you have played.
rafoliv 4
You fell on a trap my friend. Never humilliate your partner in life.