Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my girlfriend punched me in the back of the neck because I was talking to a woman online. It was a public Call Of Duty match, I have no control over who I play with, plus I wasn’t even talking specifically to whoever this woman was, just to the people in general like all COD players. FML
Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment because I won’t play Call of Duty with her brother. This kid loses his temper violently at family board games, how the fuck does she think he’ll react when he gets mercilessly wiped out by COD players who don’t give a toss about his feelings? FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
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Top comments
sarcasmine 19
At least you weren't playing monopoly. It would've turned out worse
baxterlondon 10
at least you got a gamer chick to marry you
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Comments (143)
TheGreyJayLP 10
YDI for playing CoD
Mortoli 30
lmao wow talk about backwards nerd rage. this why you stay on same team bro lol
CarlCarlCarl 20
Your wife doesn't happen to be someone like.... Monica Geller?
Bubbilility 27
I have never understood how people can 'go easy' in games. I don't have that ability. I MUST win. If I don't then we replay until I have more wins. It's that simple. Failing that I play the game in secret until I get good at it and demand a rematch.
maemismile 22
I got nervous for a sec at "savagely beating my wife" but yeah, girls get butthurt over COD.
Axel5238 29
Just guessing, but people not familiar with COD aren't familiar with tactics players use such as camping and that stuff. It's considered cheap since you aren't giving them a sporting chance and to those unfamiliar with those ways of playing it's cheap and might be wise to take that into consideration in the future.
DejoMasters 8
The first thing that registered to me was "savagely beating my wife" and I was like wait wut.
pilusepi 10
Got worried after the first few words OP
dylan913 13
I just read the savagely beating my wife part ?
frappelover95 10
Classic!