By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia
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Well I think that no matter what he said, he shouldn't get a "what did you expect" or YDI for getting hit with a frying pan by his wife, after having said a joke. Or even if it WAS meant to be hurtful. Of course, if the wife had posted an FML saying her husband beat her with a frying pan after she made a joke about his penis or whatever, you would all jump and say "oh wow, asshole!" just the same. Saying "get back in the kitchen" sets "evolution" back to the 20s? Someone said this here. Ignoring the fact she said evolution, which has nothing to do with it- Stop being ridiculous. A joke sets nothing back. Some of you women, in your 20's-30's, are talking as if you're opressed women living in the 1920's. I'm far from a chauvinist, but get real! The OP might be an asshole, or he could just be an idiot who thought it would relief tension (And that is no reason to condemn him). The truth is you know nothing about him, yet I see comments like "You're a horrible person!". Really? You know this person so well? What we DO know, is that hitting a person, man or woman, with a frying pan- not ok.
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I'm completely with 107 on this one. If you don't want to read the entire thing, at least read just the 3rd paragraph. Honestly anyone who thinks the guy is the jerk in this scenario is doing an injustice to womankind everywhere.
Way to go #107 you just proved your point (i think). And I can understand that sometimes one finds him/herself writing a paragraph or so to prove his/her point. Even I do it sometimes. But this is ridiculous. I mean, what do you gain from it? A good grade? A prize? You write all this, wasting time that you could be spending doing something more significant, and probably 1 out of every 5 people who see it actually read the whole thing. And those who do read it will probably forget about once they click the "x" button on their screen.
Not the gender debate again. Look, genders aren't equal, that's how society works. Men will be forever stereotyped, as will women. So what? Each have their own advantages and disadvantages. Just be goddamn grateful you weren't born an ant. See, ants only live a few weeks at most, they work their butts off their whole lives, and get stepped on daily. Do you still have complaints?
...thank you. You restored my faith in humanity. I'm about to cry here. (joke) you are the first I have seen to agree with my mindset, mostly. All the girls say SEXIST! All the guys say JAIL! I agree with you completely! I say it was sexist, but doesn't justify violence. and if it were you and me (hypothetical) in this situation, I would laugh at my obvious (I would be sarcastic at least) sarcastic sexism. I would laugh harder at the oven mitts and counter-sexism. but to say that because not all males believe in equality would mean that a great portion didn't. To those with superiority issues, they SHOULD get whacked with a pan. but the quoted said most men, not all men. and to judge a classification by its weakest link is unfair. Like judging all leaders of Germany bad because of Adolf Hitler. ( I know, overused analogy ) but still... awesome!
Great response #107, but you're wasting your intelligence on fmylife.com He was a douche to say that to her, she shouldn't have reacted violently, but chances are, if he's willing to say that, he's probably willing to get violent as well. In conclusion... Good for her! And as for the OP, ydi for being a sexist.
What advantages are from men's stereotype? Most stereotypes I hear of men is: dimwitted, nothing but muscle, sex craved, disgusting, immature, mean, cold and emotionless, either manipulative or easily manipulated, and simple. Stereotypes of women from my "peers"? innocent, pure nature, kind, romantic, emotional, genius, strategic, leaders, and logic. And there are many companies that would hire a woman over an equally skilled man as to seem impartial to sex and to have someone pretty to look at that is working under you (my bastard father did, secretaries, and he screwed them, and I resent him). some women use sexual harassment as a threat, as a way to get ahead, or for pity. Girls report it, applaud! They're heroes among coworkers. guys get no applause. With equality in the workplace, majority of large companies are run by females [fact!]. Think about all this for a bit. (I realise some things I write are opinion, but those are actual stereotypes I hear of women and men)
ok....#107... I was really gonna tell u to get a life for writing an essay for a website called Fuck My Life.... But then I read your essay out of curiosity. and you have a point. My first reaction was to laugh at this story, but if one of my male friends told me that story about his significant other, I would have said "that bitch is crazy, run her in." Now, I think that its unfair to compare a woman slapping a man and a man slapping a woman, cause lets face it, not being sexist, but, generally (note: i said generally, not all cases) a man could knock a woman out with a slap, a woman could hurt herself if she slapped a dude. However, I am whole-heartedly against raising your hand to a man. I would NEVER raise a hand to my boyfriend and he would never hit me. Its simply mutual respect. If he disrespected me verbally, I would leave, not hit him, cause I'm not about to stay around for more. I hope most women think that way. If he hit me..... anger would tell me to pic up an object and hit him back. My brain would say "don't do the dirty work" and I would call someone to beat his ass for me. True, thats not the right solution, but it would make me feel better. I guess I wrote an essay, too. FML
107, I agree with most of what you said I think, but I want to point a few things out - sorry if I'm not as articulate. XD I can tell this is gonna be flawed, so if there's something wrong with my argument, please enlighten me. :) For one thing...if the OP's wife had made a sexist remark about him then I don't think he would have omitted it. He starts off looking like a sexist bastard, or like you said, he's angry and made a petty jab, which is kinda forgivable ‘cause most people are unreasonable or say stupid stuff when they're angry. But if he had included an equally or more outrageous comment that his wife had said, his FML would've been more of an FML, cause his wife would've been painted as even more of an unreasonable woman, so that would’ve benefited him to include that. Maybe this guy is being an idiot towards her - or in their argument, what he's saying is mind-bogglingly ridiculous and she's trying to keep the argument rational, but it's almost impossible to get through to thick-headed people. So out of frustration and being unable to knock some sense into the man, she loses control/flips out at the last comment (boiling point - what pushes her over the edge) and she smacks him over with the frying pan. -.- Maybe that’s whats making us sympathetic to what she did - there's a chance that his man might be an asshole/jackass, and that's what a lot of people derived from his comment in the FML. Besides, some people marry because they don’t like the idea of another person doing anything with the person they’re with – which is out of possessiveness, not love. They’ve got no problem with doing other people, as long as their partner doesn’t. On the flip side though, he may be an honest guy and admitted that he said something unreasonable, but is saying here that his wife completely overreacted to the comment. Also, the U.S. is still a young country. We've just recently acquired gender equality and women's rights, civil rights - maybe at an accelerated pace, but it's still recent. Some people or companies or places that offer jobs here might still be biased towards women, maybe even subconsciously, and just making sure they aren't denied the rights of first class citizens won't prevent their…not benefitting from them. When the African-American slaves were emancipated and the constitution was amended, it didn't eliminate racism or the effects of it until the government began to be more active in protecting these rights and encouraging integration. True, our mind-set and view of this sort of discrimination has changed a lot since then, and our country celebrates tolerance of many aspects of society now – but it’s because of the Civil Rights movement - which happened 100 years after emancipation. Women had also been trying to get equal rights pretty much since America became independent from the British, and it didn't really reach even footing with men or real equality and celebration of it, or part of our nation’s status quo/culture until the late 20th Century (suffrage would be early 20th century). Part of protecting these liberties is monitoring and implementing these policies. We also need to protect minorities and make sure they have a voice, and in most cases men have had and still have more security in this world than women do, in a lot of aspects. Another issue is the social and media aspect of it – sorry if this is getting boring to hear, but women are portrayed as objects, sluts, idiots, kinda like accessories for men on TV. On the other side, there’s the whole female-empowerment stuff, which is great, but that sometimes comes with having a rockin’ bod or requiring being fashionable and spenders to go with that (makeovers on their physical appearance and shopping sprees or buying a new wardrobe is part of their transformation to a strong, intelligent female). As a result they, or their minds, might not be taken seriously or considered by some places that are hiring, as opposed to men. Also, you’re over-estimating the socially-minded sensitivities of men. At the school I go to, most of the guys make crude remarks about girls/women, rate girls on how attractive they are instead of their intelligence or character, and there are a couple who pretty much verbally treat them like shit, and don’t see a problem with it. It’s kinda like on FML actually -.-. There are guys like you, and there are guys that make comments like donkey_hang_down here – it’s a joke to them, and it’s funny to be an asshole, but they’re pretty much indifferent to what they’re saying too, which is kinda scary -.-. I don’t care about how men previously treated women, although it’s important to consider just for the sake of knowing and scholastics (why are women often treated like this around the world – whats with the pattern), and violence shouldn’t be condoned at all (though in modern society, for domestic-disputes, it’s been linked a couple times to gender equality – guys see that their women are independent and as a result get possessive/aggressive cause they’ve got issues, and like 271 said generally women aren’t as physically strong as men [obviously there are exceptions] so they got more trouble defending themselves in that area).
#285 are you saying that physical attraction means nothing? And that guys are the only ones that care about looks? Girls are usually the ones rating guys on a list of how they look. Both men and women are "shallow" but not really, because physical attraction does matter in a relationship.
Right, good point, hadn't thought about that X. Its just that I usually hear guys doing that more than girls - maybe I don't hang out with those type of people, but in that area, I usually hear guys talking about stuff like that and I hear girls talking about other girls or their relationship problems. I guess I agree that physical attraction matters a little, or should, but relationships with that as a foundation don't last, so I don't think it matters ultimately. Physical attraction means nothing in the long run, and shouldn't be a big priority when looking for a partner. You're right that guys aren't the only ones who care about looks in a partner.
you know what i kinda agree with you... honestly half the people who posted on this page are a bunch of feminists who wont actually do anything for womens rights, but will just complain about someone's misfortune using sexism as a crutch to blame this guy who clearly didn't mean what he said... seriously if u have a problem with stuff like this THEN GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT... get off ur lazy asses and join the movement... sheesh
What on earth are you talking about? Most Fortune 500 companies are run by men. Fact! Most CEO/CIO/CFO's are men. Women make up less than 20% of STEM jobs, even though they are just as smart and just as qualified. Women still make less on the dollar than men. And this comes from a woman who is not the breadwinner in the family, does all of the cooking, and cleaning, and makes her husbands lunch everyday. My company is a perfect example- 90% of our workforce is female. The top 10 positions? All men. The board? All men... So tell me there isn't disparity.
haha. i'm female and i find this priceless. everyone in nsw (australia) says it. it's one of those phrases that are 'in fashion' at the moment.
Well if this FML doesn't spark a load of sexism related debate then my name is Jesus (oh, and sorry for lying to all of you 2000 years ago, my bad)
i'd charge her for assault, no man should take a beating from his wife..
ahhh yes, but its perfectly acceptable for a man to say "get back in the kitchen"?? He got what was coming to him, she DID go back into the kitchen, obviously he wasn't specific enough to put her there barefoot in front of the stove. I agree with the previous poster, the frying pan makes it that much better... it would only be outdone if she was to use a rolling pin. hahaha file charges?? "Mr. Officer, I was being a sexist dick and told my wife to get her ass back in the kitchen, then she hit me with a frying pan"... yes, Im sure any man would want THAT to be his statement.
You have little humor what so ever. Today it is the average white male that is discriminated against by the ideals set by society ie positive discrimination, this occurs frequently in Australia where there are more scholarships and it is easier to get into certain fields for woman or indigenous people. Furthermore did you even consider the possibility that the OP was provoked into saying such a rude thing? No you have no idea of the context stop making assumptions. Either way assault is assault and what she did was more illegal then what might be considered verbal abuse or a joke by many members of society.
Hey growing.... here is a top hat and a monocle.... now all you have to do is scream "HELP I'M BEING OPPRESSED!" News flash dude; women and minorities get edges on things because the average white male spent god knows how many years (I would say 100 min) doing everything in there power to degrade and make them powerless. And we are interpreting his action because when I get into arguments with women and I get upset the thought of telling them to get back in the kitchen, call them a stupid cunt, or other things that would be degrading to women... ie: misogynistic. Likewise if I got pissed off at a jewish friend I wouldn't start spouting anti-semetic slurs to retaliate... because the thought would never cross my mind. The fact that it did in fact cross his mind and that he chose to speak it to me does not bode well for his history dealing with the treatment woman.
THANKYOU, theblazian! Society these days seem to deem racism more appalling than sexism, when in fact, they are basically the same. They're both bad in their own ways. The OP is a prick for degrading women after they've spent so many years fighting for equality. Women are equal to men - without women, the population of the world wouldn't exist. Men aren't superior to women, nor vice versa. To the OP, YDI.
You make a valid point but why should future generations suffer for the pasts mistakes? Does that not further create sparks and anger promoting sexism or discrimination? If one wishes to foster hate then all they have to do is enable someone over someone else. Just because the thought of using a particular insult may cross someones mind doesnt mean that they should blame themselves for this thought, to stop thinking in any way would hamper creativity, a defining thing to human beings. It is not the thought but the ability to control that thought and what to say and what not to say. Yes in this the OP failed, but she could have just as easily misinterpreted his meaning, because yes it could have been said in humor, having the ability to look on past mistakes and laugh about and learn from them in many ways shows character. On the off chance that he wanted to be deliberately cruel to his wife she over reacted and did far worse. Also he could have been much more vindictive in his attempt attacking something more personal to her as an individual. Sorry kinda went on a rant.
Actually, sexism and racism are NOT the same.. You know why? Because biologically speaking, all races are the same. Seriously, no difference between a black person and a white person except for physical appearance. Culturally speaking, not much but biologically... yes. Biologically speaking... The two genders are very different. This is why sexism and racism are not the same. And sometimes outcries of sexism are subtly racist... Like white women who have no problem with the word "slut" but think the word "ho" is appalling.
His point still stands to reason that there is a much greater difference physically between most woman and men. I think woman and men are equal, though they are suited to different things sometimes because of their physical differences, but at #71 what does it matter that without woman their wouldnt be anyone in the world? Without men it would be the same, just because your born with a uterus doesnt mean anything.
93, that was the point. The argument wasn't that men needed women, it was that they are equal. Women need men for sperm, men need women for eggs. and it doesn't matter biological difference between race and sex. like saying one is worse than the other is (nerd moment) saying like with particles. it doesn't matter the difference of one chloride molecule being more positively charged than another compared to the difference between a positive and negatively charged chloride molecule. The true disgraceful flaw is to see them as anything other than a chloride molecule. but sexism, though offensive, is within the law, though abuse and violence is not. Though comedic, and stresses the "be careful what you wish for" point, the FML wasn't a YDI alone. He did ask for it, but just from saying it doesn't mean he deserves it. It's both. YDI & IAYLS.
All I have to say in reply to you, #82, is...how many white women do you know that aren't offended by the word 'slut'? I am a white woman and I would for sure be offended by that term, and I really can't imagine any woman would not be offended. I want to know where you got your logic, is all I'm saying.