Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
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Top comments
nodeathtoall 19
You literally scared the shit out of her Bravo
MassiDelta 28
I will not make a horrible pun this time
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Comments (85)
MassiDelta 28
I will not make a horrible pun this time
lemonadestand 7
I commend you
MassiDelta 28
I learned my lesson!
extrasnipes 22
Puns are good and all as long as they aren't crappy puns
MassiDelta 28
I almost said "I will not make a crappy pun this time. Dammit!" I'm happy I didn't
VonBlitzkrieg 27
#1, well, you did now.
nodeathtoall 19
You literally scared the shit out of her Bravo
say_what2032 12
Well, thats nasty.
SS 31
Anyone else think Cleveland Brown voice?
domolovesyoshi 33
Me, I did
twister45 17
It's the only way to read it
sstahpp 33
*cleveland brown jr* HILARIOUS
pokemyeyes 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah not sure how grabbing a five year old in water ever seemed like a good idea. Just feel lucky that she only pooped rather than swallow large amounts of water or faint and drown. YDI
SecundusSecunda 27
Don't be so uptight, 4. Parents play with their children all the time. How on earth could OP expect her daughter to shotgun crap all over the pool?
aimbug 42
Bit extreme?
plaza249 9
He grabbed her not pulled her under idiot
WarMachine68 24
it all depends on the child and the parent, but even little things like this could cause a fear of swimming or deep water. not always, but it's a possibility
txblondie3 15
Lighten up a little bit
expertsmilee 26
Taking scared shitless to the next level.
Lalala579121 28
Did you not know people do that when they get scared?
teentee401 37
Not everyone ***** themselves when they get scared...
Ichiya 29
Yeah last time I got scared it was so bad I shit the scarer and myself.
Lalala579121 28
Not everyone but I'm sure a 5 year old would lack the sophisticated control over their bowels we older people possess...
DoomedGemini 38
They might be more likely to, but a lot of kids don't. How many times do you think kids get scared/surprised? Now how many times do they pee/poop because of it? I bet the number is a lot less than the first. It's normal to surprise or scare kids, just unlucky this time op's kid had an accident.
lemonadestand 7
Shit hit the fan. Or should I say the pool?
twister45 17
That was just bad. Go home and try again.
legendairy3000 16
Sounds like a shitty situation.
amc597 28
Get out.
xninix_fml 36
And never come back.
SS 31
Get in the pool.
sstahpp 33
And drown.
booze_n_bitches 37
That poor pool-boy whose job it will be to catch the floaters.
CrazyMelvin 14
As soon as I saw "I thought it would be funny "I knew it was a YDI.
Red_Curls1995 28
I tried to hold out hope that it wasn't but I read the underwater part and knew it was.