Miscellaneous: Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games....

By ThinZ - 24/12/2011 00:26 - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 3 868

Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

By JJ - 03/10/2015 07:42 - United States - Irwin

Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 525

You deserved it 4 469

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 054

You deserved it 109 637

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 14:53 - United States - Conroe

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 331

You deserved it 3 756

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 090

You deserved it 5 313

By Anonymous - 14/09/2018 14:30 - United States - Edinburg

Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 214

Get out of the way

By SweetDreamsTibi - 10/02/2019 12:00

Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 615

You deserved it 1 535

By IfuSeekAmyIdo - 05/04/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 671

You deserved it 7 368

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 052

You deserved it 3 225

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 039

You deserved it 3 079

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 212

You deserved it 2 439

moop256 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:54

Your wife sounds awesome

upyourzlolz 11

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:57

"slowly, slowly, he slid in me. Then he passed out. But I kept *******." Yup.

Comments

moop256 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:54

Your wife sounds awesome

i_amthe_walrus 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

Agreed. Op, you might want to ask your wife to give you your balls back.

moop256 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

Yeah their probably rolling around in her purse next to some lipstick

ilovesarcasm 18

Saturday 24 December 2011 7:28

11- It seems she has gone and put them on, lol. OP, have you googled the word "cuckold" before? It is suggested you do, but later. Go fix me a sandwich.

Akai_fml 4

Tuesday 27 December 2011 21:18

Agreed #1! Hey OP, if you're done with your wife, can I have her?

eatsleepjb 8

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:55

That's one wife you got there

maxwells_hammer 5

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:24

Well yes most cultures do only allow one wife.

eatsleepjb 8

Sunday 25 December 2011 0:40

True..very true

SomeRussianGirl 3

Tuesday 15 May 2012 21:46

29 just owned that comment lmao

Amburito 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

She sounds like a keeper to me!

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

This could be the beginning to a great ****. Keep going, pls.

sbharani96 4

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

"Oh that's how it happened, huh? Well I think I can top that."

moop256 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:05

Mabye it's the video that gave boner his boner

lindseykcool 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:51

16, ...elaborate?

lindseykcool 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:53

I'm sure boner is completely capable of getting his boners! he doesn't need videos. or video games, or whatever the hell you were trying to say.

hellbilly205 17

Saturday 24 December 2011 9:57

Every1luvsboners is back maybe things are looking up from here on FML.

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 25 December 2011 7:45

fappity fap fap

aznbiznitch666 4

Tuesday 22 May 2012 13:39

Or maybe dude got the boner listening to his wife telling his coworkers how she took her boyfriends virginity. At least she wasn't telling them how she lost hers.

Theclarksondales 8

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

Seriously, why would you let her do that? Stand up for your Self!

Glidefedt 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:11

Yourself, duckballs.

baseballplaya5 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

adbeck 1

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:56

Your mom

baseballplaya5 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:09

My mom left me when I was 3

Icedogs133 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:48

Her statement sounds perfectly right to me.

ALpein 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 19:43

Maybe your mom left you because she got a job as a professional kitchen cleaner.

eatsleepjb 8

Sunday 25 December 2011 2:45

His mom leaving him is nothing to joke about....

PinkHorset 5

Sunday 25 December 2011 4:19

You sir must have big balls but a small pensi

baseballplaya5 7

Sunday 25 December 2011 8:35

Across the country? Seems a bit extensive, don't you think?

upyourzlolz 11

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:57

"slowly, slowly, he slid in me. Then he passed out. But I kept *******." Yup.

ITIvRAPTORvITI 0

Sunday 25 December 2011 1:06

Rotflmfao!!!

animalover721 3

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

Tipppppppssyyyyyyyy

MasterJMan 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

I like how you describe it as "bone chilling" how drunk was she?

lindseykcool 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:54

blood-chilling, you mean? even creepier.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 13:27

"How unattractive is she or how awkward was the sex?" was the first question in my head. I've never heard of a chilling sex story; she'd have to be a disfigured manatee who drugged and raped a 12-year old boy before I felt my blood chilling.