Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: her job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Today, I realized how toxic and controlling my wife is. She left to go on a vacation, and I'm so used to her micromanaging everything I do that I'm completely unable to function. I tried to play a video game and had a panic attack because I imagined her walking in and screaming at me. FML
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Top comments
smoochmysnoot 6
Annulment. Quickly. On grounds of fraud. Unless she gives up seeing her friends, spa days, girls-nights out, shopping sprees, salons, mani-pedis, and other silly nonsense.. Best of luck to you !
Hangryko 31
Divorce.
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Comments (6)
Hangryko 31
Divorce.
smoochmysnoot 6
Annulment. Quickly. On grounds of fraud. Unless she gives up seeing her friends, spa days, girls-nights out, shopping sprees, salons, mani-pedis, and other silly nonsense.. Best of luck to you !
sirrubberduckie 36
Nope.
soundsfakebutok 10
you’re a grown ass man, she doesn’t get to decided what you do
FluffythePink 23
Run away. This will only end in a tour of hell from this bunny boiler before you eventually escape. Skip the shit she wants to put you through and just go straight to annulment/divorce now.
Charlie Given 26
Run & Run now buddy! I've been there &done that, she's either a narcissist, a con artist or mentally ill!