Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my girlfriend punched me in the back of the neck because I was talking to a woman online. It was a public Call Of Duty match, I have no control over who I play with, plus I wasn’t even talking specifically to whoever this woman was, just to the people in general like all COD players. FML
Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment because I won’t play Call of Duty with her brother. This kid loses his temper violently at family board games, how the fuck does she think he’ll react when he gets mercilessly wiped out by COD players who don’t give a toss about his feelings? FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
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Top comments
sarcasmine 19
At least you weren't playing monopoly. It would've turned out worse
baxterlondon 10
at least you got a gamer chick to marry you
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Comments (143)
IWishIWasObama 12
ydi for playing video games as an adult. bring on the down votes, bitches!!!
buddy_J 16
And what's wrong with video games? Just mad because you suck at them?
Solano2580 24
She's the competitive type, I wouldn't worry about the threat, but once she's calm I would sit her down and talk to her about her anger.
DobbyCowCat 6
Don't worry OP, I beat my husband all the time on Call of Duty :). Maybe we can have a match and give us a proper challenge haha
Terminator78 6
I have the feeling that she'd feel particularly home in league of Legends XD
dsrtpnk 8
Gamer girls in a nutshell.
missnuthin 10
people like your wife are why i loath games like call of duty.... actually, any online gaming.
Gameboy930 4
Not the best way to start that sentence
DaRito 25
I read the first half of the first line and laughed too hard
TheLynx_fml 20
I read the first line and got a little afraid for a second
KrissiKat 8
Lmao. The first sentence started to throw me off a little. ??