By IHaveATypeAparently - 25/7/2021 06:01

Cursed

Today, I found out one of my exes is trans. I’m very happy for her, but I’m starting to think I have the wrong type, as I have had 3 ex-boyfriends come out as gay and 3 come out at trans right after breaking up. I really hope my current boyfriend doesn’t have a secret. FML
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  Plop  |  14

Just transition to male and start dating your exes, problem solved!

More seriously, you might indeed be attracted to guys who exhibit stereotypically "gay-ish" traits (being effeminate, skinny, demure, etc.). Obviously, I'm not saying any of those traits make someone gay, but I'd be tempted to assume that guys like those might be more likely to turn out to be either gay or eventually transition.

Your best bet is likely to try to talk to your exes if you're still on good terms with them (not reason for you not to be) and work on your gaydar.

By  RichardPencil  |  30

I'm confused. The symbol by your user name is male, so your boyfriend would have to be gay before you broke up.

If I assume you are female, there are two possibilities: one is that you turn men gay or trans, the other is that they are lying to make breaking up with you easy (just an updated version of "It's not you, it's me.")

COMMENTS
By  Plop  |  14

Just transition to male and start dating your exes, problem solved!

More seriously, you might indeed be attracted to guys who exhibit stereotypically "gay-ish" traits (being effeminate, skinny, demure, etc.). Obviously, I'm not saying any of those traits make someone gay, but I'd be tempted to assume that guys like those might be more likely to turn out to be either gay or eventually transition.

Your best bet is likely to try to talk to your exes if you're still on good terms with them (not reason for you not to be) and work on your gaydar.

By  Yudith  |  20

Start a wing man service. For a fee, you could go to bars and meeting places with your customers and scan the guys. If one appears cute, tell your customer and she will avoid him like the plague. Bonus: if your customer is gay or trans, you can present him the guy.

By  RichardPencil  |  30

I'm confused. The symbol by your user name is male, so your boyfriend would have to be gay before you broke up.

If I assume you are female, there are two possibilities: one is that you turn men gay or trans, the other is that they are lying to make breaking up with you easy (just an updated version of "It's not you, it's me.")

Reply
  JM2787  |  6

I’m sorry what? It’s not in your DNA. There is no such gene.

Reply
  Plop  |  14

It's true you can't "turn" someone gay, but there might be something with OP's behavior or personality that helped her exes come out. Which might be a good thing actually.

As to "gayness" being genetic, if my understanding is correct, there's no real consensus about how much genetic factors matter, and there quite clearly isn't a "gay gene", but it seems to be a combination of hormonal, genetic and even simply random factors. How much each matter is up for debate though.

By  GalaxyGirl1123_fml  |  13

I might be completely wrong but, in my experience, the gays and other LGBTs tend to find each other even before they know they are. (Like years after understanding you're a lesbian, learning that you exes were gay and vice versa).
Maybe it's a sign to do some introspection? Or are you uncomfy with commitment for some other reason?

By  Bogrbon  |  24

If your type is “very metro” you may end up finding a lot more in the closet men than straight ones. Good luck on your search though. They do exist.

By  protoskore  |  27

I'm a gay guy and had something similar happen to me, in that several guys I've partnered with went and married women after we parted ways. it probably means I'm somehow attracted to Bi folks. and so are you