Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years sent me a text message saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML
Today, I wrote my girlfriend a song. She wrote me a 13-page letter on why we should break up. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a two week notice for our relationship. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Murderer! :)
Raegron 4
...or give it one last try, see how it works out? :) (we don't know anything else than what you've written, so this may be a very bad idea, I don't know :D).
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Comments (127)
The_Pleb 0
More cringy comments from plex ^^ lol
plexico 4
reply to XOfiestypixie (#61) pixie, I had considered #4, but my company's policy is that you cannot expense food for a meeting if all of the attendees are employees. If you have one stinking customer in the meeting, then you can go hog-wild and serve up a friggin' smorgasbord! If the company in question had been a vendor-customer relationship for the past five years. . . yuck.
Major_General 10
So? Thank her for the package, then break up with her.
tzecco 2
Personally I'd do it now just to see if she eally did
nuttinick 0
send one back saying "we're over but can i come to the funera?"
Eltsc 0
Sounds like a Twilight fan. Drop her quicker than a hot potato.
emilygirl14 0
You deserved it and your the idiot for staying with her for FIVE years before deciding to break up with her.
emilygirl14 0
It depends. I'd kill myself without my fiancé and I'm a successful business woman.... No I wouldn't. It would just hurt. Alot.
DameGreyWulf 1
People can easily stop liking each other even after extended periods of time. Nothing says he was staying with her when he didn't want to.
DameGreyWulf 1
Usually when people say that they're exaggerating. Unless you know something we don't, OP, which you probably do after five years...
TysonFawlay 0
Not your problem. Leave her to kill herself then, the sad **** should get a ******* life.