Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years sent me a text message saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML
Today, I wrote my girlfriend a song. She wrote me a 13-page letter on why we should break up. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a two week notice for our relationship. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Murderer! :)
Raegron 4
...or give it one last try, see how it works out? :) (we don't know anything else than what you've written, so this may be a very bad idea, I don't know :D).
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Comments (127)
lem0n_fml 0
I don't see how that's funny.
Kofu 0
allmidnighteyes, Intoxicunt, redbluegreen You three are the most delightful thread-terrorists I've ever seen.
Intoxicunt 6
Thank you.
CL41RE 0
why are you breaking up with her!
jonny2x4 0
What was in the care package?
tomakobriefs 11
YDI for not just dumping her sooner. You have to plan out the days? Just tell her it's over. Nip it in the bud.
gigi2009 0
FCUK.
ronws23 0
her problem
lem0n_fml 0
Maybe he means their five year anniversary in two days. Ever think of that? Hmm? Way to make assumptions. : )
bigcrazymike 6
Sounds like she knew what was coming.