Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML
Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
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Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
Go over and shake her hand in greeting.
glittercookies 12
Give her a look of disgust for being a voyeur!
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Comments (224)
Calyx_fml 22
Go over and shake her hand in greeting.
ghirahim 5
Look her in the eye and finish like a boss >:D
Idonebeenhad 17
Why didn't you have your window closed...?
patrickdamoose 5
Look at #25's comment and then look at #30's pic. It's like you two synchronized it
cdougman627 0
They did
kiki122012 5
Like a boss.
Osito2011 9
Op should of asked for a helping hand!
Frijolero_92 1
She was staring at you through the window, and your the weird one???
XxDevilxXGt 26
Don't worry she was faking it. She was enjoying being a creep but when you turned she needed to look discusted to not reveal her secret admiration. Go get her tiger!
Blackmail111 9
106, His weird one? What are you talking about? (Learn the damn difference between You're and Your.
kyarush 10
Giggity
burninnapalm 5
128 - learn how to finish your sentence properly. (if you're gonna correct grammar, make sure your statement is flawless.)
Justy101 23
137- Learn how to use capital letters. (If you're going to correct grammar, make sure your statement is flawless.)
bioboy725 10
137- There's nothing wrong in your sentence, I just wanted to be a part of this. (If you're not going to correct grammar, still make sure your statement is flawless.)
RedPillSucks 33
C-C-C- Combo Breaker!!!!! Flawless Victory!!!
Calyx_fml 22
Since when is "gonna" flawless grammar?
Drummer389000 0
Well howdy neighbor!
GimmeFive 10
Bunch a grammah freaks up in dis piece
mnblkjpoi 0
Well that will be a good conversation starter.
chillyCholo 5
Ask her why she just stood there and watched, freaking creep..
CobraKitNu 7
Exactly, OP's the one who should be disgusted.
Guren 0
Oh we can't creep into peoples houses anymore? (Sarcasm)
ladyLALAA 29
OP should have invited her in, she was staring she could have walked away.
Zimmington 21
Oh hi! I saw you this morning, after I dropped itching powder on my penis. :)
wallandpiece 16
I don't know why people have put YDI for this. Everyone has the right to a private home life, it's the neighbour's fault for attempting to invade people's privacy and personal space. OP should go and stare through her windows, see how she likes it.
MrsDruidess 23
see I was kinda thinking curtains . . . .
SoccerBitch113 0
That's classy ;)
aaronfuegopop 7
Masturbating is fun
Fruit_Dealer 9
Staring at masturbaters is creepy..
aaronfuegopop 7
Oh I love it
alexup24 13
procrasturbation
SW500 13
I've never understood why people dislike it. I mean it's healthy! And enjoyable!
Squishypenguin 0
masturbating is for the forever alone :)
j_cat187 20
Emancipation masturbation.
sparkrok 8
What do masturbation and procrastination have in common? In the end, all you're really doing is ******* yourself!
bmwguy01 8
^ Haha Great
jamaican1876 4
Aha ikr! I love masturbating
glittercookies 12
Give her a look of disgust for being a voyeur!
Fruit_Dealer 9
That's what I thought as well.. I would've walked to my bowl of mangoes and hurled them at her face.
MigraineurOfLife 15
I know the guy in your pic. His name is John & he plays Bogey in Michael Jackson's 'Smooth Criminal'.
Fruit_Dealer 9
If you're talking about mine then I more than highly doubt it.. I took the picture myself in a subway in Montreal.
natashax21 5
41- Im currently waiting for a smooth recovery.
tygerarmy 35
First ask her to lend a helping hand! Then if she denies you follow glitter cookies and the fruit dealers advice.
kellyXbeanz 3
yup what she said! agreed ma'am =)
blaaz 0
Could not agree more lol if ya don't like it don't stare xS
MidnaLink 35
Good idea
Kikitann 9
And why oh why had she decided to peek in your window at the first place?
SeeSea 11
exactly...obviously she was the one just sitting there watching like a creeper
Wolveslikepie 4
You mean you guys don't creepily stare at people as they **********?!
Bekll 31
She secretly enjoyed it.
WhoaItsKiernan 4
That's why she was watching him through the window.
HeartOfLead 24
Well you know what they say: It's only polite to stop but a real gentleman looks their audience in the eye and finishes strong.
CheckItOutItsYou 7
Your just breaking in your house to see which part of it is the best to ********** in, she's trippin
starxshine 0
Oh, come on. I hate bad grammar as much as the next guy but is it really necessary to correct mistakes every single time?
ppeanutbutter 1
yes.
Clozzie 0
Great way to kick in the new home... o.O
Mister_Triangle 21
Homes are like baseball gloves: when you get a new one, you gotta beat it for a little bit to break it in
ElricMustang 23
Make sure to shake her hand when you introduce yourself