Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
At least that's all you had on you. But now your Halloween costume is incomplete.
sscookie 13
that could have gone a lot worse...
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Comments (58)
Wiringify 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why didn't you pretend that you are a cop?
tygerarmy 35
With a plastic badge?
ForwardUn2Dawn 18
No with one made out of wood! Yes it'd be plastic! And she'd own that shit. (Seriously no pun)
ViRepz 28
Do you know the definition of pun?
the_lameo_geek 8
Probably because I'm a short teenage girl in a TMNT shirt.
deepunder 17
Tell them you are in deep undercover, Op
ViRepz 28
21 Jump Street =)
tygerarmy 35
At least that's all you had on you. But now your Halloween costume is incomplete.
buttcramp 21
exactly!
SokDek 14
This is perhaps the only positive side of being broke.
sscookie 13
that could have gone a lot worse...
MrsDruidess 23
yeah be thankful that's all you had. Think about all that we have on us 99% of the time, IDs, cells (all at we keep in those!!), credit cards, cash . . . some people still keep their social security cards (idiots)
JustBeingAwesome 22
Yeah and at least they laughed it off and didn't do anything to you just because you saw they faces.
saraitkddh 47
I can imagine here what you mean...
rabbitprooffence 14
You should be glad you didn't have anything of value on you! Sounds to me like you were lucky!
Grand_Cookie 21
Sounds better than actually valuable stuff. I'd totally rather that. They're the tards that robbed a dude for a plastic sheriff badge.
Vaimvaelk 11
Should've pee'd on them
Blastoid 13
Think BIG son... and browner too...!
RedPillSucks 33
OP would have just gotten shot or stabbed in the ass.
the_lameo_geek 8
I sit down to pee.
ForwardUn2Dawn 18
If thats all you have then you could at least own up to it and pretend to be "the new sheriff in town." All spaghetti western like
sunnyray812 42
Be thankful you didn't have anything else on you they could have taken. Even though I didn't click on the "YDI" button, you should consider yourself lucky.
Dontstealmyname 11
#9 - Makes me wonder why on earth would you even talk about the YDI option? Whyy?
sunnyray812 42
Because I don't think she deserved it. I didn't want anyone to think that saying she should be thankful nothing else got stolen is another meaning for YDI.
cosicosei 22
You could've laughed them out by the sounds of it. They just failed at mugging someone big time!
1dvs_bstd 41
You coulda got stabbed or something, look on the bright side.