By Anonymous - 5/5/2021 14:02

Baby mama drama

Today, I kind of wished I'd never become a stepmom. I didn't know what I was getting into. When one of the kids' moms stops making life hard, the other picks up. I love the kids with all my heart, but it's starting to hurt me. I can't give 100% because I'm reminded I'm "not their real mom." FML
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By  rainbowdonnareed  |  18

Talk to your spouse.
Respect for you is what counts 💯.
My kids ❤ my wife she is their mom too.
Look up not of my flesh its a poem.
I'm guessing with mothers day coming is what brought this up.
I was grown when I got a stepmother and I love her to the moon and back

COMMENTS
By  ojoRojo  |  27

That’s a tough role to be in, but just remember... the more people caring about those kids, the better. It takes a village. I hope you’re all able to find a way to work together!

By  rainbowdonnareed  |  18

Talk to your spouse.
Respect for you is what counts 💯.
My kids ❤ my wife she is their mom too.
Look up not of my flesh its a poem.
I'm guessing with mothers day coming is what brought this up.
I was grown when I got a stepmother and I love her to the moon and back

By  mando  |  10

It could be a forwarning of what's to come, as if it hasn't been enough...but in all reality those kids are the future and no matter what baby mama drama comes, remember they are innocent and don't deserve the drama. Does your husband support you? Are you fighting a losing battle? Take everything into consideration before you give up. Sometimes you have to to save your sanity, but sometimes the good outweighs the bad.

By  DoctorPALO  |  12

I'm sorry to hear this. My nephew finally married a wonderful woman who treats all his kids well and loves them as much as she does their child together. She deals with bio mom crap too but she's the best thing that ever happened to those kids. Have you tried to explain that just because you didn't give birth to them, that doesn't mean you don't love them and want what's best for them?

By  Bogrbon  |  23

As a step-dad to a kid who's biological dad has never really been in the picture, I just do my best to treat him as if I'm his actual dad. It can definitely be a challenging position, emotionally draining and exhausting, especially since I became his step dad in his pre-teens where the only words he seems to know are varying complaints and "this is the worst day of my life." Still, the kids need a positive role model and structure in their lives. It kind of comes as a package deal with marrying someone with kids. And if you're not ready for it, I'd say be careful about getting seriously involved with someone with kids.

The key as they've said, is 1. making sure you're on the same page as your spouse in that role and 2. patience. The biggest thing is if your spouse wants you to be 100% involved in parenting, they need to back you up, and if they don't want you to be, they need to take charge and deal with the situation themselves.

By  wawa_sxm  |  14

ah goood to see the other way around...women criticize if by choice men want to engage with a woman that has kids, and its unfair....not only we wont share the first baby expeience now i'm raising my kid and your kid differently.
Its very rare to have full authority over a step child especially on the dad side because even if they absent as soon as they hear something they disagree with its a whole lot of drama.
So i would say either, your not my mother stops and you show them you have all the authority and then some of the mom or its not your problem...because then you become more of a friend and that just messes up a child perspective on authority and reality

By  Sady_Ct  |  37

I’m a stepmum, I have no kids of my own. My daughters mum is now also one of my best friends, and we all adult together for the sake of the kids, because they don’t deserve that burden. When people work together it’s so much better than working against each other. Those kids love you, give 100% and to hell with their mother’s. You deserve better and so do those kids.

oh I 100% understand, I'm also a step mum and often get reminded I'm not their real mum and it stings. my advice is talk to your partner and let him know how you feel. Also don't be afraid to put your foot down, especially when it comes to yourself. beat of luck

Reply
  bleachedraven  |  14

step parents are most certainly parents.

By  bleachedraven  |  14

Being a step parent has it's challenges, and thank goodness there are still big hearted, good people out there willing to open their hearts even more to step children. I'm sorry for your difficulties. Everyone should work as a team. I agree with a lot of the comments here...it takes a village....the spouse should back you up...to hell with the other mothers who cause drama.