Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 157
You deserved it 54 017

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Your ego appears to be bigger than your muscles.

i know it would suck being mugged but just because your a body builder dont mean you can kick everyones ass


chrian182009 0

well I'm a boxer and I wouldn't even have said that lol should have knocked his clothes backwards instead of using your mouth

agree don't give him time to attack you. either stand up and fight or do as he says he could of killed you.

Susieee_Q 9

Yeah, seriously. You're lucky all you got was an ass-beat & a fart on your face. He could have seriously screwed your stuff up!

sammy92 0

well I bet u won't do that again hahaha

I had someone attempt to rob me once... I'm a kick boxer and my man a boxer, my bf beat he's ass... I guess that's the difference between the skill of martial arts and the plastic muscles of body builders! YDI the fart on the face is just priceless tho! haha

yep can't beat kick boxing. the art of 8 limbs is pretty hard to beat!

yeah what they said. you are there to look pretty and defends rumours that you are gay. just punch him in the spleen before he can say anything

I think the OP's a dumbass. when your being mugged your supposed to hit the guy as fast as you can. not say"hey try to punch me in the face" paraphrasing of course

OP, you are a ******* idiot. You just ruined your chance of surprising him when you said that. YDI.

Kick-boxing is four limbs, you're talking about Muay Thai.

Krajjan 9

I've been well-trained in several forms of martial arts, including MCMAP and Krav Maga. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that in that situation you must assume he means to cause you bodily injury if you don't comply. And if you don't want to comply, your first action should be to produce or improvise a weapon and violently disable your attacker. Points for famous last words, though.

Krav Maga seems nice :D. Bodybuilding doesn't turn you into an expert fighter. However, training with compound lifts while practicing a martial art is the best.

cradle6 13

I'm really into Krav Maga, been doing it for a while. I'd recommend it to anyone who can handle it. I love it. OP, your overconfidence screwed you over. You got lucky he wasn't armed. You could have died. Either immediately attack and create distance, or fully comply. Do NOT antagonize your assailant.

Im not a kick boxer I'm a **** fighter, it's the art of one appendage it takes years to learn and the internet. Try taking rock hard hits to the body.

Oh yeah? I'm an expert in cockblocking skills! What can you do now?

#48 if your a "real" kick boxer why did your boyfriend kick his ass, or is it the type of aerobic yoga kickboxing

whos body do you build...? is it statues perhaps?

lordcaliburx 0

body builders are weak. they might be able to lift weights cause of the steroids but they still pussy's.

Paradoxasaurus 0

Comment made me smile appreciatively. Yeah, most of the time bodybuilders are weak. They look strong because they starve themselves and use steroids. Strongmen, that's where it's at.

body builders do not starve themselves. they eat probly 3 times as much as the normal person

dudeitsdanny 9

Even if they were strong.. Who cares? If you can't throw a punch quickly and efficiently enough.. You're screwed. It's not always about strength, but skill. When I was in tae kwon do, I saw a 7 year old girl get paired up with a 13 year old boy. He knocked the air out of her with one punch in the first round.. Then she pwned his ass for the other two. Best. Sight. Ever.

mr_miyagi 0

really, bodybuilders are weak and can only lift weights cuz of steroids? that makes no sense. the steroid help them build muscles bigger and faster, making them much stronger. and they dont starve themselves at all, they have to eat much more in order to build the muscle.

slushpup9696 12

Dudeitsdanny, was he supposed to beat the shit out of a 7 year old girl thrice?

Kathykir 0

dam that sucks but I will hav to agree

Best 2 of 3, I was in a tournament, fast strikes and perfect balance for me, paired with a nimble body is a sight to be reckoned with.

Fuhohohohoho!~ I would have LOVED to see that!~

denbeste 3

EVERY body builder is s wimp lol, it's common knowledge

UnearthlyEnemy 9

remember: having muscles doesn't mean you know how to use them properly.

True, if you don't know how to fight, don't try and show off, that's how you get messed up. He wouldn't want to fight after a good punch too the throat and not being able to breath for a some precious time.

i know it would suck being mugged but just because your a body builder dont mean you can kick everyones ass

thats exactly what i was thinking just bcuz you work out doesnt mean you know how to fight

Exactly, when you're too bulky your range is limited and slower. As long as they know where your weak spots are they can easily bring you down. YDI

kofinater 3

a few body builders can't even wipe their own asses why would they be able to throw or dodge a punch? A lot of martial arts is mechanical advantage anyways if you don't know how to fight it doesnt matter how huge you are.

Your ego appears to be bigger than your muscles.

He deserves it for not having a real job. Body building is a waste of food and time. It doesn't make you healthy or particularly useful to society.

sduhamel 0
bmboente15 0

OP, next time don't taunt him or say shit, because if you are a body builder you should have just taken him down

hugozac88 22

He must not be very good at it

Well obviously you were lying about being a body builder. lol ydi

how is he lying about being a body builder? that's going to be the outcome every tile unless you know how to actually fight. just cause you can lift 350lbs doesn't mean you know how to throw a punch. I've seen a guy half the size of another dude wreck the other guy so size and strength has no effect unless your wrestling then you might have a weight advantage but that's about it

atomicJ 0

Haha he laid it on your face! FATALITY!!!

Just because you are a body builder doesn't mean you can fight worth a damn. Glad you found out you are not tough shit like you thought.