Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
I don't understand how the people on here get such weird and/or downright rude or mean significant others...
That_Ginger 18
Pair this girlfriend with that kid that flushes his condoms and hopefully she takes away his potential to reproduce.
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Comments (103)
Dekat121 24
Ask her if shes ever been kicked in the ******, if no reply with what she said. it also hurts for women to be kicked down there.
Gottokeepsmiling 6
I would have to say that punched in the breasts is even worse!!
blackonblight 33
No, unless you're at the point in your cycle when they're tender, breasts tend to take a punch about the same as any fleshy part of the body. But a kick or knee to the pubic bone hurts EVERYONE. And on the off chance you end up hitting the ********, that's a fuckload of nerve endings in screaming agony. Passing out is common.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Wear a codpiece at all times for protection !
weveallbeenthere 30
get a cup!
perdix 31
Time for a pre-emptive **** punt. The best defense is a good offense!
ariellove1992 8
Don't forget any this like birthday/anniversaries and behave
VampOfSavannah 31
Behave, really? That is extremely painful for men. If it's done hard enough, an injury in that area can cause serious damage. I'd dump her crazy ass on the spot.
Dawnstempest 17
@ 20 Behave? He isn't a dog.
Jones87 11
That's a bit odd..
perdix 31
A cup would be ok but The Male Chastity Belt™ would be better. With all the spikes, electric wires and pepper cannons, the attacker not only gets blocked, but gets ****** up in the process! Of course, you have to take 10 weeks of training to learn how to wear it :(
Welshite 40
I got the training down in five weeks. Come at me, you sex-crazed fiends!
perdix 31
#25, yeah, but you probably skipped advanced but essential skills like Performing Naked Zumba for Legions of Stalker Chicks. That lesson has saved my bacon -- or more accurately, prevented my wiener from becoming bacon!
RedPillSucks 33
Your weiner could become bacon? You must be very popular with chicks in some circles...
Brianna_Ray 23
Yikes!
himwiththeface 17
maybe she didnt say kicked
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
Kicked and licked are easy to confuse... Make much more sense if she asked him if he's ever had his balls licked :P
bitchimabunnyz33 13
Better not sleep for awhile OP