Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
I don't understand how the people on here get such weird and/or downright rude or mean significant others...
That_Ginger 18
Pair this girlfriend with that kid that flushes his condoms and hopefully she takes away his potential to reproduce.
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Comments (103)
Silentcrafter11 13
Ever wondered why not many fml's are posted on the sight overnight? It's likely the moderators of the FML's.
docphilsman 15
Wear a cup
yuzuru_fml 12
i'm having goosebumps right now , damn
awilliams44 9
ur gf seems like a psycho path
cunex2sday 5
No girl asks that out of nowhere. YDI.
TallMist 32
Actually, there ARE some crazies, psychopaths, sadistics, etc. out there. Chances are, OP's girlfriend is one of these things. Plus, you are assuming that the OP did something to warrant that, but we don't have enough information to assume anything. And yes, I realized by saying "Chances are OP's girlfriend is one of these things" is assuming, but I'm taking the safest but I could from the intel the FML gave us. Even if the OP (or OP's girlfriend) were to follow-up and then state that you were right, you'd still probably get downvoted for blaming the guy before there was any evidence at all stating it was OP's fault.
Dinoporeon 9
She kicks you in the nuts You punch her in the boob Then you two can have painful angry makeup sex.
JamesGregoryLor 8
Hope she meant kissed. Desperately hope she meant kissed.
assholemagnet 5
Run dude RUN!!!
happyfingers 15
She was probably just bored and thought it would be funny... OR she's crazy and you should wear a cup whenever she's around. Just in case.
Nastorrian 11
She seems fun, calm down.