Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
I don't understand how the people on here get such weird and/or downright rude or mean significant others...
That_Ginger 18
Pair this girlfriend with that kid that flushes his condoms and hopefully she takes away his potential to reproduce.
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Comments (103)
Neighborhoods 8
punch her in the *******.
28shelbyb 3
This is funny and sounds like something I would say to my boyfriend!
nazaniel 1
what how have you never been kicked in the junk
BigMac92 11
Talk about a ball buster. Sorry OP, but I think your girlfriend has a ball busting fetish.
Fotch2013 4
how the hell haven't you been kicked in the "junk". It was a daily challenge to avoid getting kicked in the crotch in my highschool
Pyro_Wolf 17
I've never been kicked there either. People have punched me there, but never kicked me.
Dawnstempest 17
The only way I could think she means this nicely is if she's into BDSM and was trying to see if you were too. Otherwise she's just psycho and you should leave as fast as possible.
Rozay333 36
I don't understand how you've never been kicked in the nuts. I thought this was something that happens to every guy at least once. Lol
JMichael 26
Be afraid OP. Be very afraid.
JustClaire95 13
I love your girlfriend!
it__happens 17
No offense but how have you never been hit in the junk before?