Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Cringe
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Pooptown
Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poop. FML
Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML
Great start to the day
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Sitcom vibes
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML
Gross out competition
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Top comments
WCARlover 34
If you don't have the common sense not to flush a condom, you should not be having sex and running the risk of reproducing
flashback.miss 28
pity whoever has to clean that up. who told you it was a good idea to flush condoms?
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Comments (189)
elusiveshame 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's a shitty situation
iAlissa 34
When will people stop commenting these awful puns?
darwinism 30
There is no elusive way to avoid shame with a comment like that!
smokecloud_ 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#1 already did. They make me giggle even though they're waaaayy overused
elusiveshame 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The same time when people quit trying to be Apple and put "i" in front of everything. Before saying stupid things like that, maybe take a look at yourself first ;)
iAlissa 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's just a username.
BradyButts93 13
Overused and unoriginal pun.
MichellinMan 20
Actually, I'd much rather see a username with the letter 'i' before it, rather than a waste of a first comment because of a stupid pun that just isn't funny. But maybe that's just me.
OscarDV 8
What's with you people and first comment? You all act as if the first comment is supposed to be some great play on words. The first to comment is possibly just the first to read and give their opinion on the matter. Who gives a shit if it's not clever, or funny for that matter. Just chill the **** out, it's a comment.
Meettitan 14
Everyone who gets mad about a bad first comment is really just jealous. Downvote the bad comment and quit being a hater.
adrianh1090 12
Here let me show you the way out.
SgtAssCheeks 21
I actually giggled at the first cause of how bad it was amd the resulting string of exasperated people it was gonna make.
1jordan1 11
Oh my god you know what's even worse than that pun? How much you guys freaked out over it. Stop complaining, it's not that big of a deal, jeez. You people take things too seriously.
deviking 10
At least her name isn't Yolo swaggins or something like that
Rainhawk94 27
ialissa ,me smash!
flashback.miss 28
pity whoever has to clean that up. who told you it was a good idea to flush condoms?
SgtAssCheeks 21
its blueberry jam.
negb 30
Most guys that live with their parents know you're not suppose to flush condoms but do it anyways in an attempt to hide them. Usually nothing happens but apparently life had other plans for OP.
XSeraphinX 18
Why not wrap the used condoms on paper and throw it in the normal trash bin? Or put it in a bag and throw it on a public trash bin?
parism143 28
#22 Not a medical problem, pretty sure it's just a leech sucking on an eye :p looks damn painful to me. Imagine getting the blood sucked out of your pupil by a little creature that is stuck fast to your face. Not fun :)
ThatsMyPie 20
#55, it would be more likely for OP's parents to find it. Plus, OP is from Pakistan. His family probably feels ashamed.
happle 21
95, don't worry, leeches produce their own anesthetic for their prey so they can't feel a thing. Still pretty nasty, though.
184886837272837 32
One of the first things I googled before losing my virginity was if you could flush condoms. Reading this FML I'm really glad I took the time to do that.
WCARlover 34
If you don't have the common sense not to flush a condom, you should not be having sex and running the risk of reproducing
fuzz97 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
there's virtually no risk of reproducing if he's using condoms, smarty pants
WCARlover 34
Yes because we all know that condoms are always 100% effective and no baby has been born because of a broken condom or anything like that. *eyeroll*
TunaFireStarter 16
Haven't you heard? Condoms aren't fool proof, smarty pants.
asc2013 9
Yes there is. Condoms fail, especially if he puts it on improperly.
thecalvin123 21
There is the chance that the condom breaks and he DOES get her pregnant. Condoms aren't 100%
fuzz97 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you seem to be missing the point that he's wearing condoms in the first place and is thus not trying to reproduce
WCARlover 34
You seem to be missing the point that I said he's running the risk of reproducing, not trying to. He may not be trying to reproduce but there is still a risk.
That_Ginger 18
#Eliminate Fuzz97 2014
fuzz97 23
thank you for your negative, unwarranted comment, That_Ginger
Voij 16
I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I can absolutely clearly remember what I was taught in catholic school: Not only do condoms fail 100% of the time, they're also majorly unsafe.
AlaskanG 27
Fuzz97, you're what, 16? Please learn your facts before you become sexually active.
fuzz97 23
I'm 19 you twat
AlaskanG 27
What are you so angry about? Your name ends with 97.... What would you assume if you saw that? You should really calm down.
fuzz97 23
you should probably stop automatically assuming things
Lizardgirl 7
Damn, this thread is so negative! (let the thumb downs commence)
swick25 22
Why is fuzz97 being such a Douche bag?
ItsATwinThing 9
Read the comments above, the answers are there.
arandomusernameaa 20
Fuzz is on a roll of down votes :) ...silly billlyy
Voij 16
103: He basically misunderstood what #3 meant, then made a comment based on this flawed assumption. He got a decent amount of flak for it, which caused a large amount of distress in his brain. An understandable reaction, considering how most posts online are viewed as an extension of one's personality, with likes and dislikes being astonishingly important to the human psyche, as they are subconsciously viewed as society's approval/disapproval of your persona. In his distress, he had to make the choice of admitting his fault, thus quickly ending the cycle, or defending his statement. His brain told him to choose the second one, declaring that he should stand his ground, in hopes of finding others who would share his opinion and join his cause. This caused him to be stuck in the position of antagonist of this thread, since nobody decided to stand by him. Now he is stuck in that position, since the time to admit to his mistakes is long past and his brain has since entered into a state of denial, where it refuses to admit that his statement might've been wrong. Perhaps, however, it could also be stuck in simple regret over having made the wrong decision, but feeling powerless to change things. Can't really tell which of the two it actually is. Basically, he made a mistake, tried to defend it, now was stuck alone against many and became aggressive due to this position. (Y'know, like an animal that's been cornered.) PS: Bet'cha didn't expect such a long reply to a simple question like that, did'ya? :P
SnowFlake512 13
Your comment is awesome lol, this is exactly what I was going to say, but I read your comment and not only did it have the fact that condoms aren't always 100% a effective but it has just the perfect amount of sarcasm so I just laughed and left it at that!
REALAfroninga 11
Look guys, I'm just saying there's never been a problem a good push down the stairs couldn't fix.
HungerGames95 13
14, if he's dumb enough to flush condoms he's also probably dumb enough to put the condoms on wrong.
peoplepainter 1
Awesome. I love people with extensive vocabularies. Restores my faith in humanity. Someone has to balance out these idiotic condom flushers.
Shadowsofthedead 10
I felt like I was playing the Stanley Parable after reading the full extent of your summary
perdix 29
Are you wrapping your turds in condoms? No wonder they don't want to have anything to do with you freaks!
NinjaMouse 8
Fuzz! I didn't think you could become anymore hated. I was wrong.
Llama_Face89 33
Think you're looking for the next comment up..
it__happens 17
I moderated this!
fuzz97 23
congratulations
swick25 22
fuzz face you should really quit while you're slightly ahead.
asc2013 9
Hope the homeowners insurance has protection for that...
olpally 32
You throw condoms out you moron. You don't flush them. please don't reproduce.
tiger8255 13
Let's hope the condoms do their job.
Celestia_fml 6
That's why he was using condoms in the first place.
jasonswife423 18
Not this again...
Nolimit2217 32
That's a shitty way to get caught!
arandomusernameaa 20
Leave.
Exhaling 12
Prepare yourself for horrible shitty situation puns.
minesbiggerr 25
Bit late since on decided to grace us with his shitty presence
Welshite 39
Is it too hard to throw your waste in the trash?
bugfroggy 16
Apparently so.
TheTacoMan 24
For people from Pakistan, apparently so, Welshite