Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 34
I don't understand how the people on here get such weird and/or downright rude or mean significant others...
That_Ginger 18
Pair this girlfriend with that kid that flushes his condoms and hopefully she takes away his potential to reproduce.
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Comments (103)
GingerRoot 13
I had an ex that wanted me to do that for him.
auro7 18
How does that even come up in a conversation..?
EmmaMK 35
Just don't upset her, oh, and find a more gentle girlfriend.
fyl36915 9
*bobby hill* THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!
worldclassrager 39
Wear a cup...for a long time...
Soloman212 28
That got awkwardly sexual... Sorry, but OP is taken, and appears to be straight.
Pleonasm 35
Don't know why you got downvoted, maybe people didn't notice that they said "IN you"... *shudders*
katties 27
She seems to have seen too much weird ****...
DanShowsNoMercy 13
I suggest you wear a shin guard from now on.
kawaiikoala93 8
you should run!! lol