Today, my son surprised me by waking me up to be first to greet me a happy birthday. He was with his marching band buddies in full battle gear, playing the chorus of Stars and Stripes Forever. In my bedroom. At 5 a.m. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was once again woken up to my dad blasting The Beatles' song "Birthday." He does this whenever it's anyone's birthday (in this case, my mom's) and he knows a lot of people. It was funny at first, but now it's getting old very quickly. FML
Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML
Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML
Today, I was woken up by my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and "Sweet 16" balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I'll be 17. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
Ryan Wise 7
That sounds awesome, not awful!
Sertorius 10
Best. Birthday. Ever.
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Comments (23)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Brilliant! ******* hilarious! Though personally, I would have gone with "Louie, Louie".
Sertorius 10
Best. Birthday. Ever.
Ryan Wise 7
That sounds awesome, not awful!
chosha_fml 27
In hindsight maybe.
Glowworm56 27
What exactly is "Full battle gear" for a marching band?
silentbabydeer 10
I would assume the marching band uniforms.
RichardPencil 32
How the hell are all these kids up and ready to play at 5 am? Are these the Marching Zombies from the High School for Insomnia?
Ishvah 15
aren't you so lucky.
ChromoTec 24
Seeing as this was posted on the 29th of July, I'm wondering what school your son goes to where they start marching band that early. My marching band camp is the week of August 6th, and even then our marching band outfit check-out isn't until the week after
BurnInDemonFire 39
Dude. Check the date of my comment. This was under the "Nearly FML" tab about two weeks ago.
ChromoTec 24
So that's even earlier? Geez, how early does this school start?
RichardPencil 32
One time ... at band camp ... we got woken up at 4 am. As a hazing ritual. When I became a sophomore, we got a new director who banned (pun intended) hazing.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
If ya gotta point out your puns, you're trying too hard.
ChromoTec 24
We got woken up at 5 AM and got put in a car, blindfolded, where we went to get some of the other "rookies" and then they drove us to a church where we got free breakfast. Sad that I don't get to do it again (at least until I'm a junior, where I can become section leader)
doomsdayaddams 6
To me, this would be the only reason to sleep with a gun under my pillow.
TheSminty1 17
He just wanted to make sure all the cockroaches were gone
protoskore 27
This kid is going places