Intimacy: Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying...

By BARF - 27/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 543

You deserved it 130 348

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Foxy - 05/02/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 328

You deserved it 26 868

Back in 2009…

By awkwardgayboi - 11/03/2009 18:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 919

You deserved it 92 818

By Toilettrash - 06/07/2012 10:51 - United States

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 940

You deserved it 2 882

By NotSoSexy - 26/11/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 421

You deserved it 30 340

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 711

You deserved it 7 865

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 152

You deserved it 2 713

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 899

You deserved it 5 353

Seventh heaven

By Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 464

By toiletgirl - 14/12/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 943

You deserved it 63 830

Queasy

By ohdeardarling - 14/06/2009 13:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 60 580

pancakes_n_syrup 0

Monday 27 April 2009 23:34

YDI for not knowing your limits

lyndis_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 23:36

You must give terrible blow jobs if you can't even stick a whole finger in your mouth without vomiting.

Comments

VlAaAaD 2

Tuesday 5 May 2009 12:12

ROFL!! XDDD!! i dnt think he'll want u blowjobin em

Stuffman0027 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:32

lol nice job :)

abu3mair 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:26

hahaaa. either ur finger is really long or u havent sucked dick before

inurbanity 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:06

Oh my goodness. Self-PWNAGE of the year.

ero_hime 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 8:19

MASSIIIVVEE FAIL and yes, its IS epic and there SHOULD be a video LMFAO

ajw1991 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 22:08

Fake!

FlatBaby 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 15:33

You know there is a video about this XDD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FtfJ8gCOQs

xo_emily_xo 0

Monday 18 May 2009 3:35

Congrats, you made it to Shane Dawson's video on YouTube!! You should be proud of yourself~~NOT

S1Xteen 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:19

This is how I found out about this site.

dearjennyanyway 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 19:09

@177. Please go back to school. I'm racist against ignorance.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music Singing Dogs Animals Relatable TV shows Love Cheating AITA Sports Weird Death Family Awkward Annoying Health Doctor Money Work Capitalism Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Sextoys Intimacy Pranks

The Top

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 766

You deserved it 4 100

Today, a big crab at the beach got hold of my headphones and wouldn’t let go. Rather than wait and try to tease them free, my husband just grabbed the crab and ripped the claw off its body. The man has no patience or respect for other living things at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 363

The Top

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 486

You deserved it 3 638

Today, I discovered that have large "parts" is not all it's cracked up to be, when the girl of my dreams broke up with me because, and I quote, "We tried everything and it just won't fit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 505

You deserved it 386

Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 206

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 462

You deserved it 6 349

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 080

You deserved it 72 383

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 411

You deserved it 2 766

Same thing different taste

Back in 2009…

Seventh heaven

Queasy

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