Sex, Gross and Intimacy: Queasy

Queasy

By ohdeardarling - 14/06/2009 13:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 819

You deserved it 60 605

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Same thing different taste

My pleasure

By never again - 29/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a bit buzzed, I finally gave in to my boyfriend's request and gave him a rimjob. I was licking away when I suddenly realized what I was doing, leapt off the bed, and ran to the toilet to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 549

By Foxy - 05/02/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 339

You deserved it 26 878

Big night

By mybad7 - 15/09/2009 08:13 - Australia

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 971

You deserved it 34 690

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 786

You deserved it 7 879

Sick sex, dude

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 02:13 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 497

You deserved it 5 227

By Toomuchisoutofcontrol - 21/01/2017 08:00

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 588

You deserved it 1 012

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

Is this the worst Netflix and chill ever?

By Anonymous - 15/08/2018 06:00

Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 999

You deserved it 523

Strategic

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 13:50 - South Africa

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 764

You deserved it 95 437

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 4 027

Sniggle 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:07

I don't think the washing of vomit is what killed the mood... unless your boyfriend is into that kind of thing O.o

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:07

That's awkward. Guess you shouldn't deepthroat more than you can handle, hmm?

Comments

MK1029 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:06

Really classy.

Sniggle 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:07

I don't think the washing of vomit is what killed the mood... unless your boyfriend is into that kind of thing O.o

signedbit 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:00

Don't drink and deepthroat. :D

BoWZeR 1

Tuesday 23 March 2010 5:57

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

dsizzle52 0

Saturday 5 June 2010 21:28

wow. you are an idiot

tylerbro 3

Monday 14 November 2011 16:10

At least he got head?

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:07

That's awkward. Guess you shouldn't deepthroat more than you can handle, hmm?

grlwitperlEring 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:08

That's really gross I don't blame him at all...

sikanderimran 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:08

**** I could have been first. LOL. Everyone hates firsts but everyone wants it too

blackdog_fml 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:08

Haha.... ew! I'm sorry though.

24788 6

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:09

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

veesky 0

Friday 10 December 2010 10:01

if ur serious then ur a douche...

ammerhammer 3

Monday 1 October 2012 4:56

Yes, yes he is a douche

MegMeg362 9

Wednesday 5 November 2014 0:15

Whoever you are, you need to have a check on the way you treat others. You dont have to be rude.

lonelyinMA 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:09

More like lol@urlife

sikanderimran 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:11

Not for everyone. Clearly you haven't heard of the Japanese vomit fetish.

acertijo 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 20:12

lol ewww!!!

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

The Top

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 419

You deserved it 139 037

Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 307

You deserved it 7 540

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 995

You deserved it 2 385

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 522

You deserved it 118 246

Today, I had a Chinese test. Our teacher decided to wait until yesterday to tell us about it because she "knew" we wouldn't study anyway and she didn't want to stress us out. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 309

You deserved it 1 990

Today, I went to buy some frozen yogurt. I filled up a cup and the cashier rung it up. The total price was $6.92. I only had $5 in my wallet. So I gave her the $5 bill and went to my car to get more money. Little did I know, there was no money in my car. So I drove off. Leaving the $5 behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 964

You deserved it 13 022

Same thing different taste

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