Love: Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding....

By mammamia - 27/04/2009 12:54 - United States

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 330

You deserved it 71 328

Love

Triage

Dysfunctional

Ah yes, homophobic jokes, so funny

When clampers attack!

By frustrated - 04/09/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, despite being parked in my work's car park, my car got clamped. It cost me $150 to get the clamp removed and all I got was "bad luck" from my boss and the clamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 118

By burb - 25/09/2013 19:23 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 927

You deserved it 3 858

By dynah114 - 27/01/2013 19:08 - Israel - Petah Tiqva

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 257

You deserved it 2 458

By Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 416

You deserved it 74 831

Thanks, I hate it!

By AtikaSucks - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Tunisia

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 599

You deserved it 3 282

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 741

You deserved it 9 046

By gutted - 21/04/2011 08:33 - New Zealand

Today, one of my really close friends changed from being 'free' to 'quite busy' in the space of one conversation because I suggested that we hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 421

You deserved it 3 527

By Witos - 10/04/2013 06:54 - United States - Chandler

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 485

You deserved it 5 258

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 11:04 - Netherlands - Dronten

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 265

You deserved it 3 026

By unit - 07/07/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 846

You deserved it 39 935

By mandosfriend - 23/10/2016 17:15 - United States - Pomona

Today, I got yelled at by a man for not opening my store 10-15 minutes before the scheduled opening time, which made his 84-year-old wife shit her pants waiting to get in. It didn't matter when I explained I had no way to know she needed to use the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 117

You deserved it 672

By shadowednavi - 26/04/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 052

You deserved it 3 833

Do Not Pass Go

By Rex - 16/09/2017 16:15 - United States - Camden

Today, I started at a new college. I bought my textbooks and went to my first class only to find out that they changed my schedule without telling me. I'd already opened the book. I could not get $200 back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 598

You deserved it 322

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 245

You deserved it 4 005

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 15:10 - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 576

You deserved it 7 145

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 883

You deserved it 13 339

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 01:08 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 17 209

By crankg - 21/10/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 542

You deserved it 55 251

By Anonymous - 16/02/2015 03:25 - Australia

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 302

You deserved it 2 521

By radiantum13 - 09/06/2016 02:33

Today, I got yelled at by my supervisor for getting an hour of overtime yesterday. The reason I had an hour of overtime was because that same supervisor made me stay late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 000

You deserved it 1 048

By sad_dad - 24/10/2009 17:35 - Canada

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 957

You deserved it 10 217

By corey - 28/02/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 190

You deserved it 2 320

Boozehound

By sad fat drunk - 25/05/2020 05:00

Today, I realized that my one and only motivation to lose weight was the fact that it would take less alcohol to get me blitzed if I didn’t weigh as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 426

By Grad2010 - 18/11/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 872

You deserved it 3 129

By Anonymous - 24/09/2018 05:00

Today, getting home from a long day at work, I checked the mail and saw 3 envelopes from the IRS. Apparently I now owe over $4,000. I only have $2 in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 545

You deserved it 394

By hannahlorraine - 25/11/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 148

You deserved it 2 796

By thanksforthat - 10/08/2009 19:05 - United States

Today, after selling their car, my parents decided to inform me that my car (that I paid for myself) is now going to be the "Family Car". They also informed me that since it is, after all, my car, I'll still have to pay for the gas and maintenance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 631

You deserved it 4 700

By icareaboutmyhair - 28/02/2011 15:27 - Estonia

Today, I discovered I have dandruff, which I never had before. I googled the possible reasons and those are depression and hormones. Not only have I not had sex for a year, but it's also the reason I have dandruff. And apparently I'm depressed. How sexy is that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 693

You deserved it 6 795

By neryc - 04/07/2014 19:41 - United States - Hummelstown

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 389

You deserved it 4 519

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 897

You deserved it 7 626

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 267

You deserved it 5 748

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 293

You deserved it 3 584

By Anonymous - 16/03/2017 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 217

You deserved it 1 647

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 15:34 - United States

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 072

You deserved it 7 770

By gottacatchemall - 08/01/2014 05:43 - United States

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 712

You deserved it 28 926

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 726

You deserved it 5 484

By imfucked - 26/07/2019 14:00

Today, I found out the paycheck I deposited on Tuesday bounced. This means that the checks I sent to my landlord, the electric and gas company and my mom will also bounce. When I told my boss, we got into an argument over bank fees and he fired me. I had thumped him, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 235

By stuff - 16/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 594

You deserved it 6 283

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 324

Bad data

By maida - 02/06/2021 04:01

Today, I discovered my mother has been replacing my chronic pain meds with sugar pills, to prove to me that "the placebo effect is real and works on everyone." No wonder I’ve been in excruciating pain for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 58

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Top comments

Chvdl 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:11

Read the back of the box

betsymonty 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

F your sister's life. She'll regret that one day. You did your bes... .except that maybe you should have read the back of the box.

Chvdl 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:11

Read the back of the box

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

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Sunday 29 April 2012 21:11

Seriously.

Chvdl 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:11

Read the back of the box! Who rents a movie without checking whats it's about?

natepyron 0

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Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:18

all she thought she needed to know was that her mom had been wanting to see it, it's not like she rented some random movie

betsymonty 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

F your sister's life. She'll regret that one day. You did your bes... .except that maybe you should have read the back of the box.

mrhahn530 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

Hahaha epic fail...

ilovechocochipz 0

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Wednesday 10 March 2010 4:23

my words exacty

crazy_bananas 31

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Thursday 12 May 2016 20:41

Damn it you guys it's suppose to be, "My sentiments exactly". It's a line from the movie, Sam Carmichael played by Pierce Brosnan says it twice.

RagingClue 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

Hahahahahahahaha Also, I have a raging clue.

Sk8rJr 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:13

LOL!!!! Dude, you invited that one. You should always read into the movie to make sure it's a good one to bring up the conversation in which your intending to talk about.

TheCupcakeNinja 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:16

Did you really not watch the previews/read the back of the box? It's even obvious on the front cover.

fatfaceunited 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:16

Why did you continue watching the movie? Once you got an idea about what is about in the first 10 minutes you should have watched something happier.

starvingxartist 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:17

Nice that you try to comfort your mom. DUR that all the Mamma Mia ads show her in a wedding dress?

Hummingbird114 0

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Monday 27 April 2009 21:18

Really? ...like, really? It's a tony award winning musical! There were previews playing every five minutes on tv for like 4 months! ...or at least you could have read the back of the box. EPIC FAIL