Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding.... - FML

By mammamia - United States

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

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Summertime sadness

Deadly cocktail

In-laws, in-fighting

By - France

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

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By soliveyerlife - United States

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

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By - France

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

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By hudd357mag - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

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By goldfish - Canada

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

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By hey-o - United States

Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML

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By branded - United States

Today, I found out the tattoo signifying my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML

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By thanksdad - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

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By datgirl92 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

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By vikingunicorn - Canada

Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML

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By Toaster - United States

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

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By GuitarNerd - United States - Denver

Today, my mom told me that I would get to leave school halfway through the day. What she didn't tell me was that the reason I was missing school was to get 2 teeth pulled. FML

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By lizardface - United States

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

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By spoony - Australia

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

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By Nick - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

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By why.mom

Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML

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By toryzhere - Canada

Today, I had a job interview. I have major OCD, and I had to sit in a room with a man covered in cat hair, struggling to even survive for an hour and a half. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

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By JaneVI - United Kingdom

Today, I got an e-mail from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML

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By DAMMit - Australia

Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after spending 12 hours desperately searching everywhere I could think of, I'm forced to admit I left my wedding ring in the bathroom of the hotel suite we just spent our honeymoon in, on the literal other side of the planet. I am a dead man. FML

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By wiifantcso - United States - Sturtevant

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

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By Madison Ostermeier

Today, I went on a date. I'm a big Disney fan, so naturally the topic came up. He said, "The only Disney movie I didn't really like was Pocahontas." I have a Pocahontas tattoo. FML

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By travelsickness - United Kingdom

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

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By Pimpleeater - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

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By brokenhome - United States

Today, my apartment got robbed. My 'book-in-progress' should keep them company. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

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By Sayahh

Today, I pulled a muscle at work doing a cartwheel. I was doing the cartwheel to prove to one of my students that adults can do cartwheels too. FML

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By WaffleMan - United States - Stirling

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/10/2020 23:01

Fake News

Today, I’m not sure what to call it, but I think I just got COVID-SWATted when a bunch of police turned up to my house after someone told them I was partying with over 50 people, breaking social distancing. In a one-bed flat, with barely enough room for 3 people to sit down at the same time. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - College Park

Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML

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By booooo - France

Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight. It wasn't until I went to pay for it that I realized I'd taken the receipt, but left the cash in the ATM. FML

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By JessicaandGhazi - 26/5/2020 20:00

Expanding universe

Today, I told my BFF that I went to the store to buy medium shirts because I had gained some weight during coronavirus. He asked me, "What's the point in doing that when you're getting so fat, those wont even fit in 2 weeks?" FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML

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By Ouch - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

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Top comments

By Chvdl | 0

#148377 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:11

Read the back of the box

By betsymonty | 0

#148382 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

F your sister's life. She'll regret that one day.
You did your bes... .except that maybe you should have read the back of the box.

COMMENTS

By Chvdl | 0

#148377 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:11

Read the back of the box

Reply

HeyHeyFishFillet | 34

#4370486 - Sunday 29 April 2012 21:11

Seriously.

By Chvdl | 0

#148379 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:11

Read the back of the box! Who rents a movie without checking whats it's about?

Reply

natepyron | 0

#927466 - Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:18

all she thought she needed to know was that her mom had been wanting to see it, it's not like she rented some random movie

By betsymonty | 0

#148382 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

F your sister's life. She'll regret that one day.
You did your bes... .except that maybe you should have read the back of the box.

By mrhahn530 | 0

#148384 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

Hahaha epic fail...

Reply

ilovechocochipz | 0

#931138 - Wednesday 10 March 2010 4:23

my words exacty

Reply

crazy_bananas | 31

#6604278 - Thursday 12 May 2016 20:41

Damn it you guys it's suppose to be, "My sentiments exactly". It's a line from the movie, Sam Carmichael played by Pierce Brosnan says it twice.

By RagingClue | 0

#148385 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

Hahahahahahahaha

Also, I have a raging clue.

By Sk8rJr | 0

#148390 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:13

LOL!!!! Dude, you invited that one. You should always read into the movie to make sure it's a good one to bring up the conversation in which your intending to talk about.

By TheCupcakeNinja | 0

#148411 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:16

Did you really not watch the previews/read the back of the box? It's even obvious on the front cover.

By fatfaceunited | 0

#148416 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:16

Why did you continue watching the movie? Once you got an idea about what is about in the first 10 minutes you should have watched something happier.

By starvingxartist | 0

#148422 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:17

Nice that you try to comfort your mom. DUR that all the Mamma Mia ads show her in a wedding dress?

By Hummingbird114 | 0

#148425 - Monday 27 April 2009 21:18

Really? ...like, really?

It's a tony award winning musical!

There were previews playing every five minutes on tv for like 4 months!

...or at least you could have read the back of the box.

EPIC FAIL