Today, I discovered that have large "parts" is not all it's cracked up to be, when the girl of my dreams broke up with me because, and I quote, "We tried everything and it just won't fit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me, saying I don’t make her happy, I don’t make her laugh, that she feels she is settling for me, and that she's not being pleased sexually. Even though she has always said I did all of that, and that we could work through anything. I was going to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because there was “something missing”, which was the lack of sex we had because she didn’t feel good about her body. Less than three hours after crushing my heart, she posted about how hard it will be to have a "hoe phase" during a pandemic. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Maybe you can get work in ****. You might not get the girl of your dreams, but you'll get a lot of the girls of other people's dreams. That sounds like a pretty good consolation prize.
Kattemageren 9
Childbirth isn't pleasant, sex should be
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Maybe you can get work in ****. You might not get the girl of your dreams, but you'll get a lot of the girls of other people's dreams. That sounds like a pretty good consolation prize.
Plop 17
Well, if he wants to make good money in ****, that might require some other sort of.... commitment.
aribanks 12
How's she ever gonna manage to have a baby?
iicccyyy 15
Sex isn’t supposed to hurt you virgin
ChipBoundary 9
There isn't a penis made that should hurt. The issue is her. Her mental state, her body medically, etc. There are plenty of women (i.e. almost all) that can handle any size just fine. I've seen legal midgets handling massive ones just fine.
Kattemageren 9
Childbirth isn't pleasant, sex should be
RichardPencil 32
You're just going to have to find a bigger crack to go up in.
PlayVR 3
I swear to God I made an account just to tell you this hopefully it can work out, try "Wet Platinum" lube. I promise you, if there was ever something to help.
LiquIDMeow 6
She can't take it in her ass, tho?
XxBluntBaby420xX 3
How is these an issue or a problem tho ?!? 🙃🙃🙃