By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 18:33 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 899
You deserved it 8 667

Same thing different taste

Top comments

How could you post this without telling us what you picked?!


How could you post this without telling us what you picked?!

I'm more curious as to why op didn't follow bathroom rule #1: always check for toilet paper.

blackman100 20

The answer is duct tape. You just use the non sticky side.

error404n0tf0und 21

who walks around with Saran wrap, sand paper or duck tape?

Chelsea_bella 20

Saran Wrap or simulate the effects of anal rape

#49 It'll get stuck to your hand! You put Saran wrap over the sticky side of the duct tape, then wipe with the non-sticky side of the duct tape so it doesn't do that.

StalkerChick 13

30- maybe it was groundhogging and OP didn't have time.

Me personally, I would have gone with the saran wrap...

SwaggCapone 11

use the shower curtain then ask how they like your decision

Karalela44 15

Yeah I think the saran wrap would be the best way to go other than the fact that you'd feel everything like it was your hand :/

NagainaFier 16

#53, I think that has become my new mantra.

Bloodjoker 11

Your trying to tell me! That you've never wiped with duct tape? Just use the sticky side. I promise cleanest wipe you've ever had :-P

#134 Bonus hair removal for those pesky hairs you can't get rid of too!! :) #100 Like a boss!!!

Or the wrap, it's almost the same thing

countryrose92 23

Gross, yes but I agree, use the towels. they deserve it for not giving you tp. But at the same time, why didn't you check before sitting down? Ydi too

captainObviously 15

Or if there are girls in the house, pads are a great option as well.

51 - There was a FML awhile back involving a grandfather who walked into the bathroom to do his business and only came out with a single sock on. Similar situation, no toilet paper.

Back of the duct tape. Not too hard of a decision.

Don't forget to fold it together first so it doesn't stick to your hand. Lol

And be sure to use a lot, and flush it for good measure!

Exactly what I was thinking. Lol, they need to update on their prank ideas.

37 - OR they can not be huge dicks and give the damn guy some toilet paper, y'know?

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I am the only one that thinks the back of the duct tape is an awful idea? I'm imagining cuts from sharp folds and edges or just smearing depending on how you'd 'fold' it. I suggest sitting in the sink and washing it off, maybe wrapping your hand in saran wrap beforehand to make it less gross (though really, even if it did get on you, you'd be washing it off immediately anyway). A shower would be even better if they have one.

Condor002 2

I agree. I think duct tape would not be wide enough.

Are your friends by any chance related to Jigsaw?

Ductape the saran wrap AROUND the sand paper and then you have somethig with consistency that doesn't itch. You win.

Wizardo 33

"OP, I would like to play a game..."

Hmmm, that doesn't sound very absorbent though, a bit like the Izal toilet paper we used to have to put up with at school.

lilkeykey14 5

Lol XD How long did it take you to think that up??

Use their toothbrush, and don't tell them you've used it. They'll find out soon enough.

No, no. Don't sniff. Whatever else you do, don't sniff.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

You obviously trade those to the magical TP fairy. No, but, seriously, that is both creative and messed up at the same time. FYL, OP!

WhisperSoflty 20

Definitely Saran Wrap. Sure, it's slick, but you can wrap it up inside of itself to mute the smell. Regardless of what you picked, though, your friends are assholes. Hilarious, evil assholes.

Success4444 12

You tell it to shut the **** up. And then apologise because that was a bit harsh, and give it a cookie instead.

Use the saran wrap and then ball it up. Then use the duct tape make a sticky poo-ball to throw at your "friends."