Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
your_ma 27
How could you post this without telling us what you picked?!
liv_graham 7
use their towels
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Comments (170)
TheHeavyOne 15
YDI, it amazes me how anyone can sit down for a deuce & not look to see if there is tp first.
dovehigh 15
sometimes people are so rushed to get in there before they need themselves that there isn't time to notice its gone.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
tape the sandpaper & cover it in a wrap lol.
ahinners 11
Use your sock
finch01 18
use the show curtin
allisadawn91 8
Whatever you picked, it better have gone down the toilet lol
ronnie220 11
I hope the Saran wrap won!
MemeGuy99 5
Either use the back of the duct tape, folded in half, or tape it to the back and front of the sand paper, and wipe. Or just use the back of the sand paper. :)
KnifeStuff 8
I can't stand the feel of sandpaper
unixdude 9
If it is their house, just drag your ass across the carpet like a dog does. You get bonus point for marking your territory as well as asserting your dominance of the pack. And, your turdcutter won't be a foul pit of despair.
crazytwinsmom 25
What a visual!
noodleboix 10
OP, I want to play a game...