Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
your_ma 27
How could you post this without telling us what you picked?!
liv_graham 7
use their towels
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Comments (170)
lmbachman 23
Well???? Which one?????
kiswani_anas 4
That is truly priceless!
RodzillaX 30
You're friends have an awesome sense of humor. Should have checked for TP OP. :-P
mansen 15
take the duct tape, put your hand on the sticky side a few times or use your jeans. This gets rid of the severe adhesiveness. Then you csn use the now only slightly sticky side to wipe with. It won't be as slick as all the other options and the tiny bit of adherence left will help clean your butt. Problem solved.
Trenadan 5
True friends right there
MzJnicc 10
use the saran wrap! lol
AlexiAwesome 10
I feel as though Saran wrap was the best option here....
Inciter 33
I'd grab a towel. But yeah, of those three, saran wrap sounds the least awful.
smitzer 7
Yeah Saran wrap your shit and throw it at them
smacky187 9
Id just pull my pants up and walk to another bathroom, its not even bad I've done it before
arsenicalhumor 30
Maybe there's only one bathroom, and they live in an active outdoor public area? Either way, I hope something got sorted out.
MDTeddy 13
Use the shower or sink and clean your butt. Wash your hands and be good to go. Also, I wouldn't call that a friend.
Vidimus 13
Should have just used their towels, OP.