Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then run up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught in her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 31
Some lucky 6-year-old is going to get a bear AND balloons...
Jdb60 5
That's gonna be a nice surprise.
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Comments (112)
Squygm 7
I thought most charities won't except used stuffed animals because they can't properly be sanitized. Either way, a parent should always ask before they take away a childhood toy.
worldclassrager 39
Keep them under your bed..or a safe location that will never be suspected...time to go to the store for a bit...
nchic01 17
5ML
buttcramp 21
if you have to hide your condoms you're either too young to be having sex or need to have a serious talk about boundaries with your parent(s). my guess is since you "planned" to have sex, you're too young.
limabeans101029 20
I agree that spontaneous sex is often better but usually you do know in advance that you're going to have sex, even if you don't "plan" it.
scice03 8
If you're hiding your condoms in a stuffed bear hidden in the basement, you're too young to be having sex.
fooltemptress 36
What are you? 12? Why would you keep your condoms in a stuffed bear?
kmartFTW 12
I bet you were beary upset you weren't able to stuff her!
Tmas95 14
Try a dresser drawer next time OP.
squarecircles 13
It sucks when your bear necessities get given away to someone else.
MooseKnuckle5150 13
I'm guessing that since you're stuffing your condoms in a teddy bear, AND your dad gave it away, you're probably a bit young for sex at this point. Why not wait until you can at least be out from under your parents' roof?