Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then run up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught in her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 31
Some lucky 6-year-old is going to get a bear AND balloons...
Jdb60 5
That's gonna be a nice surprise.
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Comments (112)
bReLiNg 18
A bear AND balloons?! Some kid is going to have a field day!
Godsofdracos 15
Only 12 posts and about 9 minutes late on that one....
Ashter 20
HAHAHAHAHA!! Ahem. That does suck for you though. My condolences. An interesting surprise for whoever ends up receiving that bear. I can only imagine the look at the discovery...
ghsthnt95 18
Or on their parents' faces when they have to explain what it meant.
Ashter 20
Indeed. Lol.
Pstraka6 20
Well at least you know your bear is safe and so will it's new owner
olpally 32
Nice gesture by your dad. Weird place to hide condoms, should have kept them hidden in your bedroom. Haha.
stupidbox 9
5ML indeed.
askullnamedbilly 33
You keep your condoms in a stuffed bear in your parents' basement? How long's it been since you last got laid?
mrlopez 13
OP probably has got a stash of condoms, not just one you know.
TheJasonLi 13
5yl for sure
weveallbeenthere 30
stupid place to hide them. next time hide them in sock drawer
Chellybelly92 14
There's nothing wrong with creativity.
Cass_x 22
5ML, hahaha. poor you
leroyjenkins006 10
That bear got stuffed with condoms instead of your gf...damn