Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Sneaky
Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML
Missing
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Spotted
Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Change of plans
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Busted by Detective Dog
Today, it was my boyfriend's last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then run up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught in her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Top comments
RedPillSucks 31
Some lucky 6-year-old is going to get a bear AND balloons...
Jdb60 5
That's gonna be a nice surprise.
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Comments (112)
jh921971 10
Don't hide condoms in toys...
awilliams44 9
well someone's not getting lucky
nikkiluvzglen 16
That kid is in for a nice surprise
kate3101 15
A bear who's a builder? Or a Build-a-Bear? Also - if you're mature enough to be having sex, then stop being childish about it. There's no need to hide the fact that you're sensible enough to be taking precautions.
LaUruguaya 11
YDI for clearly being too young to be sexually active.
BullDogg79 1
If you're hiding condoms in a Builder bear you're too young to be having sex.
sarneeley 14
If you have to hide the condoms in a bear you don't seem mature enough to need them.
misspaperwait 4
Did you ever think maybe this person lives in a Christian household? Or perhaps their parents are overly strict or they have a habit of snooping and they didn't want to have to explain the condoms? I was still hiding condoms in my closet at 19, not because I was embarrassed but because my parents are both Christian and have a snooping problem haha and also if they're old enough that all the toys went to the basement then they're probably not 12, just saying.
Mariahvanity 0
XD so far the funniest thing on here
vincentcloud 4
Thats pretty smart place to hide them. Some parents like to snoop around so just hide them somewhere they wont look(I hid mine in broken drawer that you had to open a special way). Its not that he isnt old enough it just easier to hide them than to explain your having sex, at least he is responsible and uses condoms.
WinterBlue42 22
Although he shouldn't hide them in something like THAT. Creative spot, but not a good one. I'd have to say YDI to the OP. I suspect we may eventually see an FML about finding condoms in a good-will bear. .