Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML
Today, I saw my best friend's car in the parking lot of the store, so I ran over to say hi, since I'm secretly in love with him. I saw him and his girlfriend getting nasty in the back. I'm now at home, crying and masturbating. FML
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Top comments
knibbsy 4
I hope you waved! Nothing would kill his boner like doing the opposite of what he expects. Actually, you should have held up your hand up to the window and spaced your index finger and thumb about 2 inches apart, to indicate that he has a tiny little penis. Do that while laughing.
x_Cupcakes 0
Disturbing!
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Comments (199)
do_me_now 1
That is so sick! There are too many uncle pervs in the world!
Poetry 0
it was your dad lol
ff8masterc 0
win
ibitehard 9
46, don't you mean wincest xDDD
iamchuck 0
Were you biting the burrito, or stuffing the whole damn thing down your throat?
funzcpl 0
oh that's sooooo gross! bet ya never enjoy a burrito the same again
monkeygrrlee 0
Eww! I remember when I was 4 my 8 year old cousin would watch me eat bananas (I <3d them) and jack off. He tried to put his cum on one of the bananas once... *shudder*
beanstar11 5
that's enough to turn me off bananas for a long time :/
sourgirl101 29
Oh my Lord! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I've always broken my banana in pieces when I'm eating them, just because I'm afraid of people like your cousin being a perv.
EvilDave 13
I do not believe your story because you state he was 8yo and boys that young haven't developed enough to find that kind of thing erotic let alone ejaculate.
kitty0910 0
not entirely true. I knew an 8 year old boy that had sex
EvilDave 13
While physically capable of having an erection, pre-pubescent male are physically unable to ejaculate because they do not generate anything to ejaculate. All that starts when puberty hits. And, from the psychology articles I have read, 8 year old children do not have sexual thoughts of that caliber nor do they associate an act such as eating a banana with a sexual act.
ksummerville91_fml 0
and from the paychology courses i have taken i can say they dont act sexually unless they have been exposed to it from people around them, tv, movies, ect...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
What the ****? If this is actually serious, I hope he got some very serious help.
Southern_Grown 0
Yuck. FYL. I personally wouldn't have been able to finish my meal.
maphineRAWRS 10
props for being able to even look at food after that op (Y)
Hellooomindyy 0
It's a thumbs up
EvilDave 13
No it is not a thumbs up.
FTWisRIGHT 0
Yes, it is. (n) is thumbs down. (y) is thumbs up.
maphineRAWRS 10
it is a thumbs up :P
stephanie911_fml 0
That's hot!{ ; Why don't you ask him for some sour cream?
rommie_fml 0
that's where you need to chuck a burrito at him!!! I apologize for you being that attractive, but apparently some guys just can't handle themselves.
HomeAl0ne 20
No, I think the problem was that he was handling himself.
sillyhead13 0
haha I respect that