Love, Sex and Awkward: Cheeky - FML

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 08:00

Spicy

Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 315

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Same thing different taste

Well, this is awkward

By Samantha - 29/03/2009 03:14 - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 202

You deserved it 21 870

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 161

You deserved it 4 709

By secretdoll - 09/11/2010 07:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 645

You deserved it 3 983

Cool moves

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 020

You deserved it 82 837

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 557

You deserved it 36 633

Stalker vibes

By porkieworkie - 21/04/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, after getting off the phone with a girl I'm interested in, I parked on campus and ate my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 737

You deserved it 9 282

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 731

You deserved it 6 802

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 283

By Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 389

You deserved it 5 725

By ditched?? - 06/08/2010 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 364

You deserved it 5 717

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 10 January 2023 13:05

How did you know it was his girlfriend?

D J's MOM 17

Tuesday 10 January 2023 13:42

so much for lunch...

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 10 January 2023 13:05

How did you know it was his girlfriend?

HayNow 11

Tuesday 10 January 2023 19:42

Good one.....

D J's MOM 17

Tuesday 10 January 2023 13:42

so much for lunch...

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 10 January 2023 13:54

That's what she said!

Blobby McGee 5

Wednesday 11 January 2023 0:23

you shoulda got the girl's number

emmalou 19

Wednesday 11 January 2023 6:10

serves you right for trying to give you a number away so freely just because he smiled at you, you deserve more ask for more

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 073

You deserved it 410

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 694

You deserved it 3 323

The Top

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 310

You deserved it 3 941

Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 528

You deserved it 4 037

Today, after none of my friends who said they'd be at the Jackbox game night I was hosting showed up on the Zoom call, I heard a knock at the door. All of them thought it was in person at my place, which is a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 872

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 097

You deserved it 4 511

Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "no one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 438

You deserved it 9 741

Today, I had a heat rash on my crotch. I asked my mom for cortisone cream. While I was putting it on, it suddenly started burning. It turns out she gave me arthritis cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 185